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10 Results for Grid
View 1 - 10 results for grid comic strips. Discover the best "Grid" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 30,
2015
The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid
Tags #hiding, #grid, #off the grid, #bored, #bore, #boredom, #Entertainment
Transcript
Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.
Friday June 29,
2012
Tags #copyright & trademark, #farmers & farm workers, #violates patents, #close compnay, #lawyer, #off grid, #legal
Transcript
Lawyer: Our new product violates 70 Google patents, 14 Apple patents, 52 Oracle patents, and 37 Microsoft patents. There is no hope. I recommend that we close the company and become farmers. Boss: I need a lawyer with more fight in him. Lawyer: I'm off the grid.
Thursday August 05,
2004
Tags #voice mailbox, #spam filter, #rejects email, #ear wax, #grid
Transcript
Wally: "My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." The Boss: "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"
Wednesday July 01,
2015
Dilbert Acts Like An Animal
Tags #off the grid, #bored, #boredom, #distraction, #Entertainment, #animals, #nature, #stimulation
Transcript
Dilbert Goes Off The Grid. Dilbert: The boredom is giving me the shakes. Animals are never bored. I'll just do what animals do. Well, possum doesn't work
Thursday July 02,
2015
Dilbert Eats A Berry
Tags #google, #internet, #off the grid, #question, #query, #allergy, #berry, #reaction, #swelling, #anaphylaxis, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.
Friday July 03,
2015
Dilbert Chooses Life
Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.
Monday September 08,
2003
Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system
Transcript
The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.
Tuesday September 04,
2012
Tags #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #budget, #work monitoring software, #calendar, #year 2040, #square boxes, #business
Transcript
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
Sunday September 30,
2007
Tags #carpet fishing, #devised a game, #computer, #string, #randomly picks location, #hooked fish marlin, #salmon, #killing time, #technology
Transcript
Alice: "What are you doing?" Dilbert: "Carpet fishing." "It's a sport I invented." "I divided the carpet in my cubicle into a numbered grid." "Then I wrote a computer program that randomly picks a carpet location and a type of fish about once an hour." "If it picks the carpet location where I happen to be dangling this string, it means I hooked a fish." "Yesterday I caught a marlin." "Did you come here for some reason other than to spoil the salmon run?"
Saturday July 04,
2015
One Missile
Tags #hiding, #off the grid, #surveillance, #spying, #drone, #emergency, #drone strike, #hacker
Transcript
G-Man 1: One of our drones found the fugitive hacker Dilbert in a remote forest. He ate a poisonous berry and will be dead in minutes. Can I light him up for practice? G-Man 2: One missile. They're pricey.