Grows Beard Comic Strips
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30 Results for Grows Beard
View 1 - 10 results for grows beard comic strips. Discover the best "Grows Beard" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 06,
2004
Tags #bad news coming, #time stopped, #grows beard, #eternity later, #boss forgets
Transcript
Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.
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Wednesday January 03,
1996
Tags #grow a beard, #ted, #not smart enough, #grows horn
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Ted are drinking coffee. Ted says, "I've decided to mask my boyish looks by growing a beard." As he and Dilbert walk away, Wally says, "I didn't think Ted was smart enough to know how to grow a beard." Dilbert laughs. The caption says, "Two weeks later." Ted points to a beard growing on his forehead and says to the Boss, "How do you like my beard?" The Boss thinks, "My search for a new manager is over."
Saturday June 24,
1995
Tags #computer holy wars, #scruffy beard, #suspenders, #smug expression, #unix computer user, #nickel, #better computer, #holy wars
Transcript
Wally approaches another employee and says, "Hold it right there, buddy." Wally continues, "That scruffy beard . . . those suspenders . . . that smug expression . . ." Wally concludes, "You're one of those condescending Unix computer users!" The man responds, "Here'a nickel, kid. Get yourself a better computer."
Thursday January 04,
1996
Tags #promoted ted, #new manager, #new beard, #grow from forehead, #wrong, #punish them, #bad opinions
Transcript
The Boss gestures toward Ted and says to Alice and Dilbert, "I promoted Ted to be your new manager. I used to think he looked boyish, but his new beard has changed that." Alice and Dilbert look shocked. Alice asks, "Are either of you the least bit concerned that Ted's beard is growing from his forehead?" As they walk away, Ted says to the Boss, "She made it sound as if it's wrong." The Boss says, "You can punish them for having bad opinions."
Friday January 05,
1996
Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair
Transcript
Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"
Tuesday September 09,
1997
Tags #growing beard, #hide no chin, #loose sweaters, #no waist, #sherlock holmes outfir, #no clue, #mannnequins, #friends
Transcript
Wally is sitting with his tray of food at a table in the company cafeteria. Dilbert is about to sit down. Wally says, "I'm thinking of growing a beard to disguise the fact that I have no chin." Alice joins Wally and Dilbert at the table. Wally continues, "Then I'll get some loose sweaters to disguise the fact that I have no waist." Alice says, "Maybe you should get a Sherlock Holmes outfit to disguise the fact that you have no clue." Wally says, "Perhaps some mannequins as friends."
Monday September 17,
2001
Tags #job market, #getting worse, #employees afraid, #power to abuse, #grows stronger, #evil dance, #killing me
Transcript
The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"
Thursday January 10,
2002
Tags #grow beard, #while unemployed, #message, #who you are, #shopping cart, #filthy rags
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert asks, "Do you think I should grow a beard while I'm unemployed?" Dogbert replies, "That's a great idea. A beard sends a message about who you are." Dilbert responds, "Um.. Okay." Dogbert says, "I assume you already have a shopping cart and filthy rags."
Thursday April 24,
2003
Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical
Transcript
Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."
Wednesday July 07,
2004
Tags #grew beard, #waiting for boss, #noexercise, #bearded guys no discipline, #even numbered pages, #suspenders, #cigars, #restaurant
Transcript
Dilbert: "I grew a beard while waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Then I realized I don't need to exercise because no one expects bearded guys to have any discipline." "I'll have everything on the even-numbered pages, a cigar and ...Do you sell suspenders?"