Guess Comic Strips
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216 Results for Guess
View 1 - 10 results for guess comic strips. Discover the best "Guess" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 03,
2011
Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.
Thursday June 06,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #unorthodox, #plan, #improving, #image, #company, #shoot, #lucky, #guess
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I have an unorthodox plan for improving your image in the company." The Boss says, "Shoot." Dogbert says, "Lucky guess."
Thursday January 02,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #secret, #ratbert, #dog, #rat, #elf, #gang, #disguise, #infiltrate, #hand shake, #heckuva, #guess
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to wear a disguise and infiltrate the elf gang that has been bothering us." Ratbert replies, "Check." An elf says to Ratbert who is wearing an elf hat and clothing, "We haven't seen you before . . . " Another elf asks, "What's the secret handshake?" Ratbert bends over and waves his arms. The elf says, "No, but that's one heckuva good guess."
Saturday June 27,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #school, #common, #sense, #story, #clayton, #auto, #mechanic, #cigars, #gasoline, #engine, #lightning, #guess
Transcript
Dogbert stands in a dark classroom holding a pointer and using an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "This is the story of Clayton the Auto Mechanic." Dogbert continues, "Clayton smoked cigars while working on gasoline engines. What problem did this cause?" The projector shows an explosion. A man wrapped in bandages says, "He was hit by lightning every time?" Dogbert asks, "Does anybody beside Clayton have a guess?"
Thursday July 23,
1992
Tags #disguise, #squirrels, #Dilbert, #garbage, #model, #computer, #chaos theory, #complex, #Alternative, #wild guess, #spy, #squirrel
Transcript
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I know that my computer model is accurate, but nobody believes me when I predict that squirrels will conquer the earth." The garbage man replies, "Of course, you're aware that according to 'Chaos Theory' any complex iterative model is no better than a wild guess, even if the logic is perfect." Dilbert replies, "You're making that up." The garbage man says, "You caught me; I'm really a giant spy squirrel in disguise."
Sunday July 28,
1996
Tags #budget trap, #quick estimate, #next project, #rough estimate, #wild guess, #beudget, #two million dollars, #can't afford
Transcript
The caption says, "The Budget Trap." The Boss says, "I need a quick estimate for how much your next project will cost, Wally." Wally replies, "How should I know? You haven't even told me what my next project is." The Boss says, "That's okay. I only need a rough estimate for planning purposes." Wally says, "I see where this is going. You're going to turn my wild guess into a budget. Later I'll be blamed when it's wrong." The Boss replies, "No, no. I won't hold you to these numbers." Wally says, "Well . . . Okay, let's say two million dollars." The Boss says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Can't afford that. I'll put you down for twenty thousand dollars." The caption says, "One year later . . ." The Boss sits at his desk and says to Wally, "You're way over budget. Can you show me the cause?" Wally replies, "It depends. Can mirrors reflect your image?"
Saturday January 30,
1999
Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess
Transcript
The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"
Monday August 09,
1999
Tags #requirements, #documents, #guess weight, #multi user, #global system
Transcript
Wally holds a huge book. A woman smiles at him. Wally says, "Your requirements document is the biggest I've never seen." Wally shakes the book and says, "It's too big to read, butI can guess from its weight what miust be in there." The woman says, "You know it's multi-user. global system, right?" Wally says, "No, I'm not getting that."
Wednesday October 04,
2000
Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"
Thursday May 15,
2014
Tags #dating, #time travel, #date cyborgs, #time travelrs, #from future, #less flattering guess, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.