Search Results for "hair samples"
Share October 19, 1997's comic on:
Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."
Share July 09, 2000's comic on:
Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"
Share January 30, 2017's comic on:
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Share July 01, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."
Share July 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I got a job." Dogbert jumps onto the hassock and says, "I'm the new spokesperson for 'Harry's Hair Growth Solution.'" Dogbert asks, "Mind if I borrow your razor for the 'Before' pictures?"
Share January 20, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the bathroom mirror combing his hair. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm losing my hair." Dogbert replies, "Don't be silly. You aren't losing your hair." Dilbert says, "I'm not? Oh, good." Dogbert points to the floor and says, "How could you possibly lose these huge clumps . . ."
Share April 27, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits on his pillow watching television. The announcer asks, "Tired of being teased because of thinning nose hair?" The announcer continues, "Get the 'Rivco Nose Toupee' for only $9.95!" Dilbert stands behind Dogbert and says, "It's totally undetectable." Dilbert has hair coming out of his nose.
Share June 26, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."