Half Eagle Comic Strips
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130 Results for Half Eagle
View 1 - 10 results for half eagle comic strips. Discover the best "Half Eagle" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 15,
1995
Tags #sign, #business case, #web server, #crosses all deaportments, #every director, #evp, #ted griffin, #half eagle, #half lion
Transcript
Dilbert asks the Boss, "Who needs to sign my business case to buy a web server?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . This crosses all departments. I fear it. Get the approval of every director, every VP, every EVP, plus Griffin." As Dilbert walks away he asks, "Do you mean Ted Griffin in finance or the mythical griffin beast that's half eagle, half lion?" The Boss answers, "Whichever is harder."
Saturday September 01,
2018
Glass Is Half Full
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #glass, #half empty, #half full, #the engineer, #pie hole
Transcript
The Boss: A pessimist says the glass is half empty. An optimist says it is half full. Dilbert: The engineer says the glass is too big. The Boss: The manager says the engineer should shut his pie hole.
Tuesday September 12,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #hawk, #beak, #mud, #swallow, #bald, #eagle, #birds, #disco
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert crouch behind a bush and look through binoculars. Dogbert says, "Whoa! Looks like we got a pippin hawk, a prickly beak mud swallow, and a bald eagle." Dilbert says, "Robin." Dilbert asks, "How is it that you have spotted 1,700 exotic birds this morning, and all I have seen is one robin?" Dogbert points and says, "Look! A monkey-faced disco hawk!!" Dilbert asks, "Where?!"
Monday February 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gravity, #invention, #half, #net, #land, #money, #jump, #ledge, #gross
Transcript
Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Wednesday August 24,
1994
Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber
Transcript
"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."
Wednesday October 05,
1994
Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding
Transcript
The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?
Wednesday September 06,
1995
Tags #inspirational poster, #animal research, #beautiful scene, #nightly eagle swoop
Transcript
The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"
Wednesday December 06,
1995
Tags #attractive sales person, #vendor, #dogbert technology, #hardware solution, #half cost, #save money, #upgrade later, #expensive, #price sheet
Transcript
Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Your employees have recommended a vendor who has an attractive salesperson." Dogbert continues, "But the 'Dogbert Technology Company' can provide you with a hardware solution for HALF the cost!" The Boss says excitedly, "I'll save money!" The Boss asks, "What if I need to upgrade later? Is it expensive?" Dogbert replies, "I must have left that price sheet in my other fur."
Sunday May 05,
1991
Tags #half, #chicken, #ninety-six, #afford, #place, #oven, #mitten, #cheapskate, #insensitve, #first date, #mittens
Transcript
The caption says, "First date." Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant looking at menus. Dilbert asks the waiter, "How much is the half chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-six dollars." Dilbert looks at the menu and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't afford this place." Dilbert asks, "How much is one-eighth of a chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-two dollars." Dilbert asks, "What can I get for thirty bucks?" The waiter replies, "We could slap you with an oven mitten." The woman says, "I can't believe what a cheap-skate you are." The woman continues, "My mother was right: all men are insensitive!" Dilbert hands the menu to the waiter and says, "Two oven mittens." The waiter says to the woman, "So, it looks like you'll be free later . . ."