Half Gym Sock Comic Strips
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159 Results for Half Gym Sock
View 1 - 10 results for half gym sock comic strips. Discover the best "Half Gym Sock" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 15,
2013
Tags #cosmetics, #relations between the sexes, #awful smell, #new fragrance, #pepper spray, #half gym sock, #dual purpose, #odiferous moat, #weaker applicants, #tweak
Transcript
Dilbert: What's that awful smell? Wally: My new fragrance. It's half pepper spray and half gym sock. It has a dual purpose. The pepper spray is so I can build up an immunity to it. Dilbert: That'll probably come in handy someday. Wally: Right? The second purpose is to crate an odiferous moat around me to discourage the weaker romantic applicants. Carol: Unh!!! Wally: I might need to tweak the formula.
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Wednesday December 04,
2013
Tags #fraternization, #honesty, #weekend, #blanket, #couch, #bad tv, #gym sock with hallitosis, #smell
Transcript
Wally: How was your weekend? Alice: I wrapped myself in a blanket and stayed on the couch watching bad TV shows until I smelled like a gym sock with halitosis. Wally: I like how she makes me feel.
Saturday September 01,
2018
Glass Is Half Full
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #glass, #half empty, #half full, #the engineer, #pie hole
Transcript
The Boss: A pessimist says the glass is half empty. An optimist says it is half full. Dilbert: The engineer says the glass is too big. The Boss: The manager says the engineer should shut his pie hole.
Friday July 29,
2011
Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #engineers, #telomeres, #value work, #company gym, #slacker trap
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!
Saturday July 30,
2011
Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.
Monday February 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gravity, #invention, #half, #net, #land, #money, #jump, #ledge, #gross
Transcript
Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."
Tuesday May 07,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #showing, #aversion, #near, #armchair, #flee, #missing, #sock
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I've always wondered why your tie curls up like that." Dogbert continues, "My theory is that the tie is simply showing a natural aversion to being near you." Dogbert continues, "Have you noticed any of your other clothes trying to flee?" Dilbert responds, "I'm missing a sock . . ."
Thursday May 30,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #sony, #sniffman, #salesman, #donny osmond, #new, #Classic, #gym, #bag, #consumerism
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the counter in a retail store. The salesclerk says, "This Sony Sniffman makes a nice gift." The clerk continues, "You can play the smells of your favorite stars!" The salesperson hands Dilbert the Sniffman and says, "Try it - it's Donny Osmond's gym bag." Dilbert asks, "Is it 'new Donny' or classic?"
Saturday April 10,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #light, #dense, #forced, #job, #highschool, #gym, #teacher, #subjects
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . As you approached the speed of light you would become infinitely dense." Dogbert asks, "Then would you be forced to take a job as a high school gym teacher?" Dilbert replies, "The book changes subjects at this point." Dogbert says, "Sounds like a cover-up."
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?