Hallucinate Comic Strips
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4 Results for Hallucinate
View 1 - 4 results for hallucinate comic strips. Discover the best "Hallucinate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 21,
2019
Hallucinations At Meetings
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network
Transcript
in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.
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Saturday November 08,
2003
Tags #nutty boss, #halluciantions, #sadistic nut, #having problems, #unhealthy boss
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm having problems at home, so I'll be taking it out on you today." "I'll begin by hallucinating that you said something bad. Then I'll yell at you for saying it." "I AM NOT A SADISTIC NUT!!!" Dilbert: "If I go to my cubicle, can you hallucinate that I'm here?"
Saturday June 26,
2010
Tags #failure estimate, #hallucinate, #assumption, #make up, #understanding
Transcript
The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."
Wednesday December 17,
2014
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning
Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning
Transcript
Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.