Hammer Comic Strips
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Character
25 Results for Hammer
View 1 - 10 results for hammer comic strips. Discover the best "Hammer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 28,
2015
If All You Have Is A Hammer
Thursday January 27,
2011
Tags fear, rodents, transcontinental journeys, elbonia, too cold, airplanes, operate, underground route, fly, switzerland, swear system, sewerside mission, warm jacket, rat hammer
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Saturday September 09,
1989
Tags irrational, windshield, Dilbert, shake, hammer, car
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Friday October 05,
1990
Tags Dogbert, clone, Dilbert, arm, hammer, creature, disgusting
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"
Sunday October 13,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Kids, school, president, united states, basic, knowledge, north america, sarcasm, Trivia, sense, m.c. hammer, pitiful, shocking, important
Transcript
Dilbert holds a microphone and says to the reader, "Why are kids so dumb? Have the schools failed? Let's talk to a typical youth." Dilbert asks a boy, "Who was the sixth president of the United States?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert asks, "How will he ever get a job without this basic knowledge?" Dilbert asks, "What is the deepest lake in North America?" The boy replies, "Who cares?" Dilbert says to the audience, "Pitiful . . . Shocking . . ." The child asks Dilbert, "Who is M. C. Hammer?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know, but it's not important. It's trivia." The boy says, "Oh, I see. What YOU know is important, but what I know is trivia. Yes, yes, it all makes sense now." Dilbert asks, "Is that sarcasm?" The boy replies, "D-uhh."
Monday March 22,
1999
Tags Dilbert, hammer head bob, im boring, no way, end conversation
Transcript
You're getting a visit from Hammer head Bob! I can't tell when Im boring, I might be boring now and I don't even know it, There's no way to end a conversation with me; I'll follow you to the bathroom. Dilbert: Im nailed.
Thursday June 03,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, training classes, skilled, better job, secret untraining method, hammer, head, hit on head
Transcript
Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."
Tuesday August 14,
2001
Tags customer service, serial number, pulverizing case, hammer, void warranty
Transcript
Headline: Customer Service. Dogbert is sitting at his desk, talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Find the serial number by pulverizing the case with a hammer." The man on the other end of the line is holding a hammer above a radio. He asks, "Are you sure this won't void my warranty?" Dogbert replies, "It's not always about you."
Friday June 21,
2002
Tags accounting records, congress, erasing memories, impenetrable complications, management, outside firm, project team, hit head, hammer on head, knocked on head, Politics
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, my project team has added impenetrable complications to our accounting records." Dilbert says to The Boss, "And an outside firm is erasing all memories from senior management." The Boss asks, "How do they do that?" Dogbert holds a hammer. He says to a manager with a huge bump on his head, "Okay, you're ready to talk to congress." The injured manager replies, "Thank you."
Tuesday June 03,
2008
Tags cure uselessness, glass hammer, bag of nothing, borrow a pen
Transcript
Catbert says, "Wally, I enrolled you in a program to cure uselessness." Catbert says, "Your classmates will be a glass hammer and a bag of nothing." Wally says, "Can I borrow a pen?" A bag says, "Dude, no arms."