Handle This Comic Strips
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68 Results for Handle This
View 1 - 10 results for handle this comic strips. Discover the best "Handle This" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 24,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #stress, #burned out, #gray hair, #don't handle stress
Transcript
Man: I'm burned out by this job. Is that a gray hair? Dilbert: Have we met? Man: I started yesterday. I don't handle stress well.
Monday October 14,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonians, #simple, #handle, #democracy, #elbonia, #national, #bird, #condor, #frisbee
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert says, "I know that the Elbonians are simple people, but they CAN handle democracy if you let them." Dogbert asks, "Do you know what the national bird of Elbonia is?" Dilbert guesses, "Condor?" Dogbert replies, "Frisbee."
Saturday May 30,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #advised, #handle, #sneaking, #stamping, #cancelled, #understand, #goodyear, #blimp
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "My consultant advised me to handle the layoffs in a direct, professional way." The Boss holds up a rubber stamp and continues, "So, throughout the day I'll be sneaking up on people and stamping 'Canceled' on their backs." As Wally runs away, Alice says, "Let me see if I understand . . ." The Boss points and says, "Hey! Is that the Goodyear blimp?"
Thursday October 15,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #received, #employee, #suggestion, #handle, #blanket, #imbeciles, #process
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just received your employee suggestion." The Boss continues, "We'll handle it the usual way -- by making you sit under a wet blanket surrounded by imbeciles." Dilbert sits in a chair with a blanket covering his head. Four stupid people stand around him. Dilbert thinks, "At least there's a process." A man asks, "Explain your suggestion again."
Thursday May 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #handle, #kiss, #hand shake, #debbie, #filibuster, #movies, #economy
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"
Saturday September 06,
1997
Tags #earnings, #handle investments, #maxed out, #money, #relax, #retire, #risk, #strangers
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair at a financial planner's office. The planner says, "We can handle your investments so you can retire and live off the earnings." The planners holds a long contract that covers his desk. He says, "Just sign this incomprehensible contract, hand all your money to total strangers and relax!" Dogbert's ears fly up as he looks at the contract. The planners says, "We'll need to know what your tolerance for risk is." Dogbert says, "I think I just maxed out."
Sunday August 02,
1998
Tags #performance review, #met objectives, #packed schedule, #urgent, #handle this, #sample of handwriting
Transcript
Caption reads: "Performance Review." The Boss says, "Let's see how many of your objectives you met." Dilbert asks, "What objectives?" The Boss looks at a piece of pape and says, "Didn't you know you had objectives?" Dilbert replies, "I don't see how I would have had time to work on objectives." Dilbert continues, "My schedule was packed." The Boss asks, "Doing what?" Dilbert replies, "Every morning you leave things on my chair with a sign that says, 'Urgent: Handle this.'" The Boss replies, "No I don't." Dilbert walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, can I see a sample of your handwriting?" Wally thinks, "Uh-oh."
Wednesday March 15,
2000
Tags #hired psychologust, #handle stress, #another engineer, #freaking quack, #outburst from alice
Transcript
At a meeting, the Boss tells the employees: "I hired a psychologist to help you handle stress." Alice says angrily: "We need another engineer not a freakin' quack!!" The Boss turns to the psychologist and asks him: "Is there a pill for that?" The psychologist replies: "I took it."
Saturday June 15,
2002
Tags #roboboss, #trivial task, #insulted, #mange with machine, #plywoodboss, #handle it
Transcript
The Boss introduces a robot to Dilbert, "This is Roboboss. He'll handle all of my trivial tasks." Dilbert responds, "I'm totally insulted that you think you can manage us with a machine!" The Boss turns to Roboboss and says, "Handle that." Roboboss responds, "I'll delegate it to my assistant, Plywood Boss."
Saturday November 20,
2004
Tags #biggest deficit, #inability handle criticism, #stupid misperceptions, #argue with smarter people
Transcript
The Boss: Your biggest defect continues to be your inability to handle criticism. Alice: I can't argue with his stupid misperception without proving its true. The boss: and you argie with people who are much smarter than yourself. Alice GAAA!!!!