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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hover, #saucer, #complete, #destroy, #small, #country, #wrong, #hands

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Dilbert makes some adjustments to a vehicle that looks like a flying saucer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My hover-saucer invention is complete!" Dilbert continues, "It has enough advanced weaponry to destroy a small country." Dilbert says, "I hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands." Dogbert thinks, "Paws."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #nardo, #old country, #personal space, #hands, #pockets

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Wally says to Dilbert, "Uh-oh, Nardo is coming. I'm out of here." Nardo and Dilbert stand nose-to-nose. Dilbert says, "Uh, hi, Nardo." Nardo says, "In the old country we did not have what you call personal space." Dilbert says, "Take your hands out of my pockets." Nardo says, "Oh, I get it. They're for your use only, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #date, #dilbert nervous, #date aware, #hypotheisis, #hold hands, #one clammy, #hand loses ontrol

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LIZ: I can tell that you like me because you don't quite know what to do with your hands. DILBERT: To test my hypothesis I will hold this hand and observe the change. LIZ" The "Control" hand remains limp and clammy. It twin loses control, Hypothesis confirmed. thupa thupa thupa thupa thupa

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hands on manager, #move the mouse, #micromanaging, #click it

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Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss enters and says, "I've decided to be more of a hands-on manager." The Boss stands behind Dilbert and yells, "Move the mouse . . . Up . . . Up . . . Over . . . More . . . Now click it!! Click it!!" The Boss raises his arms over his head and screams, "No!!! You fool!!!" Dilbert says, "This has 'long day' written all over it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bad news, #perfromance review, #bell curve, #make up flaws, #does not wash hands, #after restroom

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The Boss tells Wally, "Bad news on your performance review, Wally." The Boss continues, "Everyone performed the same. But I'm required to rank the group on a bell curve." The Boss continues, "I had to make up some flaws to move you down the curve. Here's a pen. Sign it." Wally reads the review, "Employee does not wash hands after using the restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #success at work, #coffee cup, #document, #whats in hands, #binder, #cigarette, #good or bad

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Dogbert tells Dilbert, "Your success at work depends on what you have in your hands when you walk around." Dogbert continues, "A coffee cup is bad. A document is good. A cigarette is bad. A binder is good. But the very worst thing . . ." Dilbert meets Wally in the hallway. Wally carries a coffee mug and a newspaper. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like you're heading for the fast track, Wally." Wally replies, "Actually, I am, unless it's occupied."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hands of death, #protest, #movie, #boycott, #redhead, #hot tempered, #ignorant, #stereotype, #boycot, #pound, #pulp, #sean, #dennis

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Two men form a picket line in front of a movie theater showing a movie titled, "Hands of Death." Dogbert walks around the corner. Dogbert asks one of the men holding a sign, "Why are you protesting against this movie?" The man replies, "It portrays red heads as hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert asks, "How many red heads are in the movie?" The man replies, "One. But the point is, red heads don't fit their stereotype of being hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert says, "Actually, ignorance was never a stereotype of red heads until you brought it up here." The man yells at the other protester, "Sean, you idiot! I told you!" Sean replies, "Shut up, Dennis! I'll pound you to a pulp!!" As they fight each other, Dogbert adds, "And 'boycott' is spelled with a double 'T.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #sacrificial lamb, #head count vacancy, #budget cut, #shake hands, #get attached

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The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #life like dumpster, #stinks, #reincarnate, #both hands stink, #life stinks, #devil, #dumpter

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Phil and Asok sit up to the necks in trash in a dumpster. Phil says, "Asok, life is like this dumpster." Phil says, "On one hand, it stinks..." Asok says, "Both of my hands stink now." Phil says, "And then you reincarnate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #feel harassed, #multi celled life form, #resume, #shake hands, #yelp

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During an interview, the Boss says to the cell "Your resume says you're a multi-celled life form." The Boss continues, "That's exactly what we're looking for!" The Boss begins shaking the cell. "I'm trying to shake hands. If you feel harassed in any way just let out a yelp."