Handwriting Analysis Comic Strips

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55 Results for Handwriting Analysis

View 1 - 10 results for handwriting analysis comic strips. Discover the best "Handwriting Analysis" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #handwriting analysis, #disturbed loner, #steals, #liberal, #absolutely necessary

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Headline: Handwriting Analysis. Dogbert is sitting across from a male employee. Dogbert reports, "Your handwriting proves that you're a disturbed loner who steals." The employee, looking confused, asks, "What?'' Dogbert stands and exclaims, "Take this thief away!" Two police officers accost the employee from behind. The employee is tied in ropes to a wood pole. The Boss asks Dogbert, "Is this part absolutely necessary?" Dogbert thinks to himself, "Liberal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #who might steal, #analyze handwriting, #double blind study, #scientific studies, #scientists dotted i's, #smiley faces

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Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He says, "I can analyze your employees' handwriting to find out who might steal." The Boss replies, "Has handwriting analysis been tested in double-blind scientific studies?" Dogbert responds, "Yes, but the scientists dotted their I's with smiley faces so I know they're liars." The Boss exclaims, "Wow!"

Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed

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Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #analysis, #work, #gibberish, #separate issue, #secretary, #offcie, #cubicle, #science

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Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis, #money

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #universities & colleges, #cost analysis, #data centers, #good investment, #college, #education

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Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior

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Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #consultant, #right-brain, #potential, #employees, #creative, #answers, #left-brain, #quantitative, #analysis, #stem, #meetings

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #the problem, #under staffed, #six weeks, #behind, #the analysis, #add people, #the result, #daily stats reports, #situation

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The caption reads, "The problem . . ." Dilbert enters looking frazzled and says to the Boss, "We're so under-staffed that the project is six weeks behind schedule." The caption reads, "The analysis . . ." The Boss looks pensive and thinks, "I can't add people . . . I can't change the due date . . . I can't ignore it." The caption reads, "The result . . ." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He wants daily status reports until the situation improves." All three look overworked and disheveled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #predicted success, #salaries, #die in stapler mishap, #disagree, #precition, #Opinion, #analysis, #science

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The Boss hands Dilbert a sheet of paper and says, "From now on, salaries will be based on your predicted success, not your past performance." While Dilbert reads the report, the Boss says, "We ran a computer model against your education and DNA information. We predict you'll die in a stapler mishap within a week." Dilbert asks, "What if I disagree with this prediction?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Write up your opinion and staple it to the analysis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #personal digital assistant, #write messages, #state of the rat, #technology, #interoret handwriting

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Ratbert approaches Dilbert's desk and says, "I've come to be your personal digital assistant." Ratbert hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use the little pen to write messages on my stomach. I'll use state-of-the-rat technology to interpret your handwriting." As Dilbert writes on Ratbert's stomach, Ratbert says, "Weave . . . me . . . a . . . cone . . . yoo . . . cupid . . . bat . . ."