Happy Birthday Comic Strips
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188 Results for Happy Birthday
View 1 - 10 results for happy birthday comic strips. Discover the best "Happy Birthday" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 22,
1998
Tags #happy birthday alice, #gift, #charity money, #team spitit, #ash tray, #dont smoke, #ashtray as gift
Transcript
Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."
Saturday July 31,
1999
Tags #good product design, #gave three, #leadership, #product is bad, #stock willplunge, #totally meaningless, #signed card, #happy birthday
Transcript
Asok and Dilbert stand in front of the boss' desk. Dilbert says, "we need six weeks to make a good product design." Asok says, "You gave us three." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your leadership, the products is bad, our stock will plunge, and our lives are totally meaningless." Dilbert says, "Oh, and happy birthday." Asok holds a letter out and says, "We all signed a card."
Sunday August 23,
1998
Tags #combined birthdays, #birthdays last year, #fake cake, #one cake, #all birthdays, #sing happy birthday
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of a cake and says, "Happy combined birthdays." The Boss continues, "Today we honor the employees who had birthdays within the past year." Wally, Dilbert and Alice stand as the Boss continues, "That's Dilbert...Alice...Asok...did I miss anyone?" Wally raises his hand and says, "Umm...you missed me." The Boss says, "You too? That's spooky." The Boss continues, "I'd cut the cake, but it's a plastic prop." The Boss says, "Let's sing. Does anyone know the words to 'Happy Birthday'?" The Boss walks down the hallway with the fake cake under his arm, and thinks, "I bet those weren't even the real words."
Friday June 08,
2007
Tags #happy birthday, #50 years old, #entire life, #delusional thing, #old man, #office, #computer, #aging, #dementia, #life changes, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: "Happy birthday. What's it feel like to be 50?" "It's great! I've never felt better in my entire life!" "So it's sort of a delusional thing?" "Yes, luckily."
Monday June 08,
2015
Scott's Birthday Cake
Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic
Transcript
Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.
Tuesday July 21,
2015
Why Can't You Be Happy
Tags #negative, #negativity, #happiness, #catch-22, #happy, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: I'm tired of your negativity, Alice. Alice: Why can't you be happy about it? Boss: How can I be happy about something negative? Alice: Aren't you asking me to do that? Or am I missing the point?
Wednesday August 26,
2020
Narcisism Makes You Happy
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #narcissim, #happy, #unhappy, #therapist, #reason, #face mask, #wrong
Transcript
Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.
Saturday May 07,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #process order, #middle ages, #stinging sarcasm, #faxed copy, #1950's, #happy time, #bob in procurement
Transcript
Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.
Saturday December 31,
2011
Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum
Transcript
Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.
Friday June 08,
2012
Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples
Transcript
Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?