Happy To Serve Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for Happy To Serve

View 1 - 10 results for happy to serve comic strips. Discover the best "Happy To Serve" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jruy duty, #what excuse, #happy to serve, #civic responsibility, #insanity, #good one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great vacation, #beautiful sunsets, #amazing food, #descriptions, #serve no purpose, #selfish attempt, #trigger memories

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."

Why Can't You Be Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Can't You Be Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negative, #negativity, #happiness, #catch-22, #happy, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm tired of your negativity, Alice. Alice: Why can't you be happy about it? Boss: How can I be happy about something negative? Alice: Aren't you asking me to do that? Or am I missing the point?

Narcisism Makes You Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #narcissim, #happy, #unhappy, #therapist, #reason, #face mask, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #process order, #middle ages, #stinging sarcasm, #faxed copy, #1950's, #happy time, #bob in procurement

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #Dilbert, #grocery store, #grape, #weight, #happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pushes a shopping cart through a grocery store. A clerk says, "Hold it right there, fella!" Dilbert turns around and says, "Uh-oh . . . You must have seen me eat that grape in aisle 'B.'" The clerk responds, "I just want to make sure you pay for it." Dilbert lies on the scale at the cash register. The clerk says, "Looks like 192 pounds. What were you before you came in?" Dilbert replies, "Happy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bumped, #happy airline, #wonder, #duct tape, #section, #satisfaction, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #jail, #Dilbert, #rich, #famous, #house, #dog, #profit, #permission, #happy hour

View Transcript

Transcript

A man wearing a robe and holding a wine glass asks Dilbert, "What are you in for?" Dilbert says angrily, "I live here!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "This is my house! My dog turned it into a jail-for-profit without my permission!" The man walks away saying, "Man, you're the wrong guy to talk to during 'happy hour.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lab, #ruebert, #creating, #feminine, #nuture, #serve, #program, #found, #national organization, #Women, #phone, #book, #surprises

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Ruebert the Robot, "What are you doing in my lab, Ruebert?" Ruebert replies, "I am creating a feminine robot to nurture and serve me." Ruebert continues, "I didn't know how to program it, so I found this 'National Organization of Women' in the telephone book . . ." Ruebert continues, "It turns out that this is exactly the kind of thing they like to help with." The female robot asks, "Do you like surprises?"