Harvard Mba Comic Strips
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20 Results for Harvard Mba
View 1 - 10 results for harvard mba comic strips. Discover the best "Harvard Mba" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 07,
1995
Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals
Transcript
Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."
Friday May 13,
1994
Tags #dogbert consulting, #liver, #slab of liver, #harvard mba, #good debaters, #brains wrapped
Transcript
"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."
Saturday October 01,
2011
Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money
Transcript
CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?
Saturday February 06,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wendell, #stanford, #mba, #workforce, #impressed, #education, #senior, #vice president, #quality, #work
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, guys. I'm Wendell J. Stone the Fourth, recent Stanford MBA and brand new to the workforce." Dilbert and Wally look at each other. Wally says, "Look, 'Wen-dull,' we aren't impressed by your education. At this company it's the quality of your work that counts!" Wendell replies, "I'm your new senior vice president, and I want you to lick the tar off my Porsche now." Wally says, "Okay, but watch the quality of my work!"
Tuesday March 15,
1994
Tags #new management layer, #middle mangemnet, #new boss, #harfurd, #idiot, #unqualified, #fool
Transcript
The Boss: Im creating a new layer of management so I dont have to talk to you anymore. Richard is your new boss. He has an MBA from Harfund University. Dilbert: You mean Harvard don't you? The Boss: Uh oh
Tuesday August 30,
1994
Tags #classes, #get mba, #big name school, #knowledge, #not prestige, #tonys, #house, #mbas, #babe ratio
Transcript
"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."
Wednesday August 31,
1994
Tags #unpaid overtime, #mba class, #working for free, #rub head, #good luck
Transcript
"I'd stay and work some unpaid overtime with you but I'm taking MBA classes." "If YOU took MBA classes you'd understand that working for free is a low NPV." "If you don't mind, before big tests I'd like to rub your head for luck." "It'll cost you a nickel."
Tuesday December 28,
1999
Tags #executive mba program, #one hour long, #degree, #prestigious university
Transcript
The boss, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table. The boss says: "I signed up for an executive MBA program." The boss says: "It's one-hour long and I get a degree from a prestigious university." The boss says: "I'd better run. I'm already a half-hour late."
Wednesday December 29,
1999
Tags #dogcart one hour course, #executive mba, #took money, #nothing in retrurn, #case study
Transcript
The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."
Sunday December 05,
1999
Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one
Transcript
The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."