Hat Size Comic Strips
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139 Results for Hat Size
View 1 - 10 results for hat size comic strips. Discover the best "Hat Size" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday February 06,
2016
Hat Monitors Sleep
Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #hat, #control
Transcript
Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.
Thursday June 23,
2011
Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking
Transcript
Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.
Wednesday October 18,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #writing, #policeman, #legal, #size, #paper, #bribe
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a desk writing a letter. Dogbert asks, "Who are you writing to?" Dilbert replies, "My uncle Max, the policeman." Dogbert says, "You can't write to a cop on regular size paper! You have to use legal size paper!" Dilbert says, "Don't panic." Dogbert says, "I get it -- he looks the other way for family members." Dilbert says as he puts money in the envelope, "I send a bribe."
Wednesday May 16,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #ambush reporter, #Fun, #steroids, #massive, #size, #radio, #system
Transcript
Dogbert walks across a field holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "I never realized that being an 'ambush reporter' could be so much fun." Dogbert approaches a football player and asks, "Is it true you used steroids to gain your massive size?" The man says, "No! I swear! I just use this little AM radio. I don't even own a steroid system!"
Tuesday December 31,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #elf, #elves, #magic, #elf magic, #Dogs, #fear, #respect, #bunny, #hat, #karl, #bug
Transcript
An elf holding a top hat says to Dogbert, "Fear us, dog! We elves are magic. Watch this!" The elf pulls a giant rabbit out of the hat. The other elves run away. The elves are bruised and their clothes are tattered. An elf says, "I think we had the dog's fear and respect . . . Until the bunny made Karl eat a bug."
Monday December 21,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."
Thursday December 24,
1992
Tags #christmas presents, #Dogbert, #christmas, #gift, #hat, #humane, #society, #sweater
Transcript
Dogbert looks at a present under the Christmas tree and thinks, "I can't believe he only got ONE gift for me. This is an outrage." Dogbert thinks, "And he already told me it's a hat. A great dog like me, and he buys a hat?" A man at the Humane Society says into a telephone, "There's nothing we can do . . . Unless it has a matching sweater . . ."
Friday December 25,
1992
Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hat, #crown, #merry christmas, #christmas, #friend
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow and Dilbert sits on the floor wearing his bathrobe. There is a present on the floor between them. Dogbert says, "Why should I open it? You already told me it's just a stupid hat." Dilbert replies, "Open it anyway." Dogbert opens the box and takes out a crown. Dogbert says, "Hey, it's not really a hat; it's a crown." Dogbert puts on the crown and says, "I'm not happy. I'm only humoring you." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, little friend."
Monday March 29,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #device, #satellites, #broadcasters, #illegal, #sell, #electronic, #fishing, #lure, #hijack, #hat, #Dilbert
Transcript
Dogbert says to a store clerk, "I'm looking for a device that will allow me to take over the satellites of all the major broadcasters." The salesclerk winks as he says, "It would be illegal to sell something like that. But maybe you'd be interested in an electronic fishing lure instead." The salesman continues winking as he says, "Fish can't resist the 'Hijack 3000' lure. And it comes with its own stupid-looking hat!" Dogbert says, "Clever."