Have Other Offers Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for have other offers comic strips. Discover the best "Have Other Offers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #negotaiating, #have other offers, #phraseology, #ordered to lie

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Negotiating Dilbert: Ive been authorized to tell you that we have other offers. I can tell from your phraseology that you've been ordered to lie and your not good at it. Dilbert: what makes you think something like that? There it is again!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #negotiate sale, #voice activated hassock business, #no lying, #plenty of ommissions, #tactical ignorance

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The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #opening offer, #lots of better offers, #ruining everything

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Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #public opinion, #feedback, #idea, #smart people

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Boss: What feedback have other people given you on your idea? Dilbert: Smart people like it. Everyone else asks me what other people think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #recruiting on campus, #twelve comapnies, #copies, #resume, #true tables, #interview, #interviewee

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Recruiting on Campus The female college student says, "I have better offers from twelve companies. Whay should I work at yours?" Dilbert stares blankly. The college student walks away, "I'll see what I can do for you." Dilbert says, "Do you have enough copies of my resume?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project acorn cancelled, #attend meeting, #good questions, #business

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"Can you come to a meeting at three?" "Why?" "I want to tell everyone that Project Acorn is canceled." "You just told me. So I don't need to go, right?" "You might have other questions." "But I don't." "Maybe someone at the meeting will ask a question that you didn't think of." "Should I attend every meeting in the world just in case someone asks a good question?" "Save that one for the meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #touchy feely institute, #teamwork, #exercise, #trust, #son blank checks, #excellent quality, #other people should have, #health

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Dogbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've hired the 'Dogbert Touchy-Feely Institute' to teach use about teamwork." Dogbert says, "We'll start with an exercise about trust. I want each of you to sign blank checks and give them to me." As they all hand Dogbert checks, Dilbert asks, "What will this teach us about trust?" Dogbert replies, "It will teach you that trust is an excellent quality for other people to have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview

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Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #other board members, #10 million

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Dogbert: Venture capitalists gave us $10 million, but I had to agree to put one ion them on board. TED: Should I be worried that your other board members have a combined I.Q of about 70? Dogbert: They weren't dumb enough to give me $10 million dollars. alligator: Burn!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #inflation eating, #no real opportunity, #other compnaies, #downsizing, #miss the 80s, #get away with anything

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The Boss: "You've got inflation eating you from the bottom...and no real opportunity for a promotion." "And as long as all the other companies are downsizing too, you have no leverage. I can get away with anything!" Dilbert: "I miss the eighties." The Boss: "Does this hurt?"