Heading Comic Strips
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21 Results for Heading
View 1 - 10 results for heading comic strips. Discover the best "Heading" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 30,
1997
Tags #dogebert, #systems adminitrator, #evil system, #private, #compiled binder, #off color humor, #unkind references, #naughty propositions, #heading, #sing
Transcript
Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."
Sunday December 25,
2011
Tags #christmas presents, #embarrassment, #merry christmas, #network design meeting, #brand of makeup, #hid, #loobby, #elevator, #closet for months, #creepiness
Transcript
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.
Saturday April 19,
1997
Tags #success at work, #coffee cup, #document, #whats in hands, #binder, #cigarette, #good or bad
Transcript
Dogbert tells Dilbert, "Your success at work depends on what you have in your hands when you walk around." Dogbert continues, "A coffee cup is bad. A document is good. A cigarette is bad. A binder is good. But the very worst thing . . ." Dilbert meets Wally in the hallway. Wally carries a coffee mug and a newspaper. Dilbert says, "It doesn't look like you're heading for the fast track, Wally." Wally replies, "Actually, I am, unless it's occupied."
Sunday April 05,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #mtv, #reporter, #success, #crowd, #instincts, #invent, #rap, #dressing, #music, #grammer, #nobody, #else, #quite
Transcript
Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I'm off to my new job as an MTV reporter." Dogbert holds a microphone and stands next to a man wearing gold chains and a cap. Dogbert asks, "Rap star Freshy Q, what is the key to your success?" Freshy Q replies, "Always be yourself. Don't follow the crowd. Be true to your instincts." Dogbert asks, "Did YOU invent rap?" Freshy Q replies, "Uh . . . No." Dogbert says, "Oh, but you probably pioneered this style of dressing." Freshy Q replies, "Not exactly." Dogbert says, "But you write all of your own music." Freshy Q says, "No . . . I buy it." Dogbert asks, "The dance steps?" Freshy Q replies, "I hire a choreographer." Dogbert says, "Well, I'll bet nobody else folds his arms quite like you." Freshy Q says, "I don't like the direction this is heading."
Friday July 19,
2002
Tags #accounting firm, #headed for bankruptcy, #conflict of interest, #t shirt design business
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "How could our accounting firm not notice that we were heading for bankruptcy?" The Boss replies, "Maybe there was a conflict of interest with their T-shirt design business." Dogbert holds up a T-shirt in front of Ratbert and says, "This one says, 'I'm with bankrupt' and it has an arrow." Ratbert replies, "Hee Hee!"
Sunday November 07,
1999
Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door
Transcript
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."
Wednesday January 05,
2005
Tags #receptionist, #delivery man, #attractive people, #positions
Transcript
Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions." Carol: "I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."
Thursday November 02,
2006
Thursday February 21,
2013
Tags #fear, #nasa, #tracking satellite, #asteroid
Transcript
Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!
Tuesday October 27,
2009
Tags #asking, #bonus, #project, #explaining, #pandemic
Transcript
Asok says, "If I do a great job with the pandemic contingency planning, can I have a bonus?" The Boss says, "I won't know if you did a great job unless we actually have a pandemic emergency." Asok says, "So?if there is a pandemic, I might get a bonus?" The boss says, "I don't like where this is heading."