Hearing It Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Hearing It

View 1 - 10 results for hearing it comic strips. Discover the best "Hearing It" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #confirmation, #hearing, #supreme court, #senator, #starve, #death, #downside

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert's confirmation hearing on television. A voice says, "The senator has 34 seconds . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder what would happen if you let them talk as long as they wanted." Dilbert thinks, "I'll bet they'd starve to death. But there's probably a downside."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #confirmation, #hearing, #supreme court, #character, #witness, #nominee, #hiney, #news, #liar, #nuts

View Transcript

Transcript

At Dogbert's confirmation hearing, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Ratbert, "Mister Ratbert, you've been called as a character witness." Ratbert says, "The nominee once called me a little hiney . . ." A picture of Ratbert appears on the front page of a newspaper. The headlines say "Liar!" and "Probably Nuts!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #government, #speech, #ratbert, #country, #freedom, #checklist, #advocate, #overthrowing, #obscene, #generalize, #disadvantaged, #group, #teach, #children, #practical, #lawyer, #refer, #hearing, #distance, #god, #bless, #clear

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert tells Dogbert, "The great thing about this country is that we have freedom of speech!" Ratbert asks, "Is it okay to say that?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Let's see if it's on the free speech checklist . . ." Dogbert reads a document and says, "Okay, you didn't advocate overthrowing the government . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were not obscene . . . You did not generalize about a disadvantaged group . . . You did not teach children anything useful or practical . . ." Dogbert continues, "You didn't refer to anybody who can afford a lawyer to sue us . . ." Dogbert continues, "And there's nobody within hearing distance who can harm you financially . . . You're clear." Ratbert says, "God bless this country!" Dogbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1998's comic on:

Tags #blind people, #excellent hearing, #brain compensates, #telekinetic power, #watch televison, #power to watch tv

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man says, "Blind people often have excellent hearing. The brain compensates for any lost function by bolstering others." Ratbert sits ona trash can, listening. The garbage man says, "In all likelihood, Ratbert, you're so dumb that you have telekinetic power!" Ratbert says, "Wow!" Ratbert walks off and says, "I have the power to watch television!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1999's comic on:

Tags #leader, #listen to customers, #hearing from customers, #customers are defective

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss leaves his office and thinks, "As a leader, I must listen to my customers." The Boss says to Dilbert at his computer, "What are you hearing from our customers?" Dilbert says, "Not a peep." The Boss returns to his office and thinks, "Our customers are defective."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2005's comic on:

Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2010's comic on:

Tags #deadline, #computer, #work, #arbitrary, #sarcastic, #hearing distance, #scurry away, #fast, #end of day, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2009's comic on:

Tags #taliban, #hearing, #lying, #emailing, #spam, #toilet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I don?t do what you ask me to do, it?s because my hearing aid fell in the toilet." The Boss says, "I didn't know you had a hearing problem." Wally says, "EH? WHAT? EH?" Wally says, "You could try e-mailing me, but I have my spam filter cranked up to "Taliban"."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #joking, #mobile (cell) phones, #hearing aid, #quick text, #all caps

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll just send a quick text to Paul. Wally: Paul has a hearing aid, so type in all caps. Boss: Good idea. Dilbert: That's messed up. Wally: A little.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2014's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #obliviousness, #core competencies, #automating things, #worshipping stars quo, #steve jobs, #reanimated body, #making lapses, #fiduciary responsibility, #hearing what we want

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?