Hell Comic Strips
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112 Results for Hell
View 1 - 10 results for hell comic strips. Discover the best "Hell" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 23,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #coupons, #email, #firewall, #malicious complience, #downside, #dogs of hell
Transcript
Boss: Mordac, I'm not getting the coupons by email that I signed up for. Can you dial back the firewall or something? Mordac: Absolutely. There's nothing I enjoy more than malicious compliance with your requests. Boss: Is there any downside? Mordac: UNLEASH THE DOGS OF HELL!
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Monday May 01,
1989
Transcript
Phil the Ruler of Heck reads a list and says, "Oh good, the last stop of the day." Phil stands in front of Dilbert's mailbox. As Dilbert reaches into the refrigerator Phil pokes him in the back with his spoon. Phil says, "Freeze, mortal! Let me see the expiration date on that milk!" Dilbert says, "I can go to hell for drinking old milk?!" Phil replies, "Nah, I'm from 'Heck.' We handle the little stuff."
Wednesday February 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #compelte, #eons, #martial, #bliss, #gomer, #somebody, #enlightened, #ruebert, #hell
Transcript
Ruebert the Robot says to Dilbert, "My mate is complete! I will now have eons of marital bliss!" The female robot says, "I don't think so, Gomer. I'm going to shop around . . . Maybe find somebody more enlightened than a can opener." Ruebert says, "It's Ruebert, not Gomer, and I'm the only other robot in existence!" The female robot thinks, "I'm in hell."
Wednesday June 03,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #video, #techie, #dweebs, #technology, #mirror, #hell, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."
Tuesday January 23,
1996
Tags #collective sex drive, #internet, #itelligence, #new technology, #smut, #time in hell, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer and Dogbert looks over his shoulder. Dilbert says, "I'm inventing a new technology to prevent kids from seeing smut on the Internet." Dogbert says, "So you're pitting your intelligence against the collective sex drive of all the teenagers who own computers?" Dilbert asks, "What is your point?" Dogbert replies, "Did you know that if you put a little hat on a snowball it can last a long time in hell?"
Tuesday March 12,
1996
Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."
Wednesday December 04,
1996
Tags #new corporate trainer, #teach classes, #stress reduction, #teamwork, #burn in hell, #filthy weasel, #hired you, #subject matter expert
Transcript
Someone behind a desk tells Ratbert, "I'm looking for a new corporate trainer to help me teach classes in stress reduction, conflict resolution, and teamwork." Ratbert yells, "I'll burn in hell before I'll do your work plus my own, you filthy weasel!!!" Dilbert asks, "And they hired you?" Ratbert replies, "A good trainer doesn't have to be a subject matter expert."
Monday May 17,
1999
Tags #alpha numeric pager, #clips to ear, #belt, #going to hell
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee pot. The boss says, "Look at this great alpha-numeric pager I bought." Wally says, "Wow! It's the kind that clips to you ear instead of your belt." The boss says, "Is it?" Wally and Dilbert walk away. Dilbert says, "You're going to hell." The boss can be heard, "Ow! Ow!"
Saturday June 09,
2007
Tags #software, #budget, #computer, #tiny mittens, #thermometer, #hell, #your turn, #nice guy, #intern, #abused, #mean coworkers, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."
Monday December 29,
2008
Tags #bookings, #frustration, #hell, #trip, #wasn't hotel, #flyer to hell, #swarm of locusts
Transcript
The Boss says, "That hotel you booked for the management offsite meeting wasn't actually a hotel." The Boss says, "I'm fairly sure it was the foyer to hell." Carol says, "What gave you that idea?" The Boss says, "Our concierge was a swarm of locusts!!!"