Help Coworker Comic Strips
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654 Results for Help Coworker
View 1 - 10 results for help coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Help Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 13,
2008
Tags #boss request, #help coworker, #own work, #projects, #projects suffer, #time management
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to help Ted on his project. Dilbert: If Ted's project succeeds, who will get the credit? The Boss: Ted will. It's his project. Dilbert: What if it fails? The Boss: That would be your fault for not helping him enough. Dilbert: If I spend my time helping Ted, my own projects will suffer. The only way this makes sense is if my projects are unimportant and so am I. The Boss: If it makes you feel any better, Ted and his projects are unimportant too.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?
Monday January 04,
2016
Boss Offers To Help
Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.
Wednesday August 10,
2016
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness
Transcript
Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.
Tuesday August 14,
2018
Dilbert Offers To Help
Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!
Saturday February 01,
2020
Let Me Know If You Need Help
Sunday May 20,
2012
Tags #mental health, #crazy thought, #witness, #conference room, #fresh heck, #sadist, #sociopath
Transcript
Dilbert: Wait. Hold that crazy thought. I need to get a witness in the room. Alice, would you mind coming to the conference room for a minute? Alice: What fresh heck is this? Dilbert: Larry is a sadist and a sociopath, but he hides it when there's more than one witness. So, Larry, what do you think of my project? Coworker: It looks great! I'll be happy to help you in any way I can! Alice: Am I done here? Dilbert: Don't turn your back!
Monday August 21,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #books, #self-help, #shoppers
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. Dilbert looks over his shoulder and asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert replies, "It's my new self-help book for compulsive shoppers." Dilbert asks, "What do YOU know about compulsive shoppers?" Dogbert replies, "I know they buy a lot of books."
Wednesday December 27,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #hand, #cleaning, #paws, #lawyer, #charming, #insult, #help, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert holds a can of furniture polish and a polishing cloth. Dogbert says, "Doing a little cleaning? Let me give you a hand . . ." Dogbert looks at his paws and says, "Wait . . . I can't lend a hand; all I have are these little paws." Dilbert says, "You'd make a good lawyer." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Charming . . . I offer to help and he insults me."
Monday September 16,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #trip, #ugly, #stranger, #technique, #wont, #self-help, #book
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."