Help Destroy Planet Comic Strips

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513 Results for Help Destroy Planet

View 1 - 10 results for help destroy planet comic strips. Discover the best "Help Destroy Planet" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #melt polar ice caps, #doom humanity, #part of humanity, #marketing, #help destroy planet, #free t shirts, #business

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Dilbert says to Carol, "This product would melt the polar ice caps and doom humanity." Carol replies, "That's okay." Dilbert says, "You're a part of humanity." Carol answers, "No, I'm in marketing." Dilbert says to Carol, "I won't help you destroy the planet." Carol answers, "That's what I said until I saw the free T-shirts."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #Environment, #confronting, #perception, #hot, #complaining

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Dilbert says, "We replaced our styrofoam cups with paper cups, but it's not so clear that it helps the planet." The boss says, "We didn?t do it to help the planet. We did it to look like the sort of company that cares about that sort of thing." DIlbert says, "Oh. In that case it's working great." The boss says, "As soon as you stop whining."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #invention, #Dilbert, #scientist, #earth, #moon, #destroy, #warning label

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Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #noriko, #Dogbert, #bob, #planet, #generation, #black, #belt, #karate, #party, #menacing, #expressions, #faces

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Dogbert says to Noriko, "Take Bob with you, Noriko. You'll need help saving the planet for your generation." Noriko and Bob the Dinosaur walk down the sidewalk. Noriko says, "I have a black belt in karate. What skills do you bring to the party?" Bob replies, "Wedgies, mostly." Bob picks a man up by his underwear and explains, "It's not as menacing as karate, but you have to love the expressions on their faces." Noriko says, "Turn him this way."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #savings, #ted, #budget, #project, #fail, #destroy, #suggestion, #help, #pain, #worse, #hurt, #mouth open, #yell

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Alice says, "You added the savings from my project to the budge for Ted's project." Alice says, "Ted is a serial failer. You've destroyed in advance any hope that I might do something useful." The Boss says, "Maybe you could help Ted on his project." Alice says, "Ow! Ow! Making it worse!"

Boss Offers To Help

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Boss Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension

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Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

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God Helps Those Who Help Themselves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness

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Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.

Dilbert Offers To Help

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Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

Let Me Know If You Need Help

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Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #teamwork, #help, #work, #awkward

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dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

Destroy The Competition

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Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #destroy, #competition, #approve, #violence, #figure of speech, #engineers, #literal, #competitors, #beat, #sticks, #sarcasm, #incite, #figurative, #speech

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boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?