High Morale? Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

250 Results for High Morale?

View 1 - 10 results for high morale? comic strips. Discover the best "High Morale?" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #high morale?, #hr director, #love feedback, #morale is low, #more frequent reviews, #employees underpaid

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Morale is low because the employees are underpaid." Catbert continues, "You can compensate by having more frequent performance reviews. They love feedback." Catbert clenches his teeth and thinks, "The hardest part is keeping a straight face." The Boss says, "Tell me again why I'd want morale to be high?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weekly, #wally status report, #process pride, #impact on earnings, #pride in results, #high level, #morale, #pride in process

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #evil director, #employee, #morale, #high, #happy, #overpaid, #nature, #yell, #clouds, #unhappy, #hands clasped, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."

No Talk About Morale

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #morale, #talk, #engagement, #workplace, #culture, #happy, #question, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

Ratio Is Too High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #office workers, #solving problem, #stadardization policies, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Congratulations on solving every important problem in the world. I assume that's what happened. Otherwise, you wouldn't have time to create desk standardization policies. High five?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraternization, #friendship, #laziness, #wing man, #for laziness, #productivity retardant, #high priority, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: And then I need you to... Asok: Excuse me. Wally is needed elsewhere to do something unspecified that has an implied high priority. Carol: Seriously? You have a wingman for laziness? Wally: I think of him as a productivity retardant.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #gadgets, #inventions, #world class invenotr, #invented prodcuts, #key memeber, #fired for stealing, #stuff to steal, #high five, #hits boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low margin lines, #high risk, #start up, #lumbering inefficiencies, #buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?