Higher Salary Comic Strips
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142 Results for Higher Salary
View 1 - 10 results for higher salary comic strips. Discover the best "Higher Salary" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 22,
1996
Tags #catbert hr driector, #new employees, #always quit, #reapply, #old job, #higher salary, #catnip, #rubbing body
Transcript
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Tuesday April 23,
1996
Tags #co worker, #current job, #engineer, #higher salary, #throughly unqualified, #unrealistic plans, #wally resign, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."
Thursday August 15,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #contract employee, #rehired, #higher salary, #downsized, #dumb, #hire third time, #parable, #ant and spider, #both boring
Transcript
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and says, "I was fired once, but I came back as a contract employee. Later I was rehired at a higher salary." Wally continues, "Now I'm being downsized again. Do you think they'll be dumb enough to hire me a third time?" Dogbert says, "Your story reminds me of the parable of the ant and the spider." Wally asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "They're both boring."
Sunday July 15,
2007
Tags #unqualified, #position, #job, #higher salray, #negotiate riase, #irrational dipwad, #easily manipulated, #bogus compariosns, #illusion of scaricity, #can't have you, #desparate to hire, #rationalizations, #total lack of qaulifications, #write the offer, #business
Transcript
"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position." Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job." "I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise." Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity." Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is." "Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!" Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."
Tuesday October 10,
2017
Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate
Tags #negotiating, #persuasion, #catch-22, #argument
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't persuade my boss to let me take a class on how to negotiate. Asok: Try giving him logical reasons. He'll respond to that. Dilbert: And then I would be able to negotiate for a higher salary. Boss: Pass.
Tuesday January 18,
2005
Tags #raises, #salary band, #205 higher, #raises capped, #supervisor
Transcript
The Boss: "I'd like to promote you, but the lowest salary band for the next level is 20% higher than your current pay." "Raises are capped at 5%, so there's no way to give you the promotion." "So I plan to hire someone from the outside that you can train to be your supervisor."
Thursday August 12,
2004
Tags #accidentally sent, #salary spredsheet, #department, #more money, #upset, #wizard, #swollen appendix
Transcript
Dilbert: Look… Carol accidentally sent the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department! Dilbert: WHat??! your pay is higher than mine??! But you're like a…a… WallY: wizard? Dilbert: swollen appendix.
Sunday August 26,
2012
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #raise, #higher pay, #income higher, #boss salary, #intuition, #business
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you the raise you deserve because it would make your pay higher than mine. Alice: I don't see how that's a problem. Boss: Let me explain it to you this way, Alice. If you make more money than I do your compensation would be greater than mine. Alice: That's not a reason, you ignorant baboon! Boss: Okay, how about... I must be smarter than you because my income is higher. Alice: Gaaa!!! Boss: When I don't have reasons for things, is that called intuition or just common sense?
Wednesday August 21,
2019
Wally Has Higher Income
Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #interviews, #wages, #interviewing, #salary range, #reveal nature of job, #current salary, #interviewing me, #evil or inconsiderate, #current job, #test the commute, #money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."