Highly Motivated Comic Strips
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96 Results for Highly Motivated
View 1 - 10 results for highly motivated comic strips. Discover the best "Highly Motivated" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 08,
1997
Tags #open book management, #repurchasing stock, #unpaid overtime, #ignorance is bliss, #highly motivated
Transcript
Dilbert stands before a manager, possibly the Boss. He says, "I appreciate your new "open book management" philosophy." Dilbert continues, "For example, I've learned that we're repurchasing stock while I'm working unpaid overtime." Dilbert says, "Yet I remain highly motivated because I understand that income and equity are distinct concepts." The manager says, "Who said ignorance is bliss? Ha!"
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Monday August 23,
1999
Tags #putting you on team, #intelligent, #highly motivated, #stubborn, #dumb guy, #v neck sweater
Transcript
The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."
Wednesday December 21,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money
Transcript
Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.
Monday June 04,
2012
Tags #monkeys, #big picture, #motivated, #monkey, #assignment, #eating banana, #imitating monkey, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.
Wednesday June 06,
2012
Tags #editors, #writing, #pointless, #confusing, #technical writer, #highly trained, #trick question, #paragraph two
Transcript
Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.
Saturday May 15,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #athlete, #multimillion, #contract, #banned, #Sports, #drugs, #motivational, #speaker, #motivated, #illiterate
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"
Friday October 07,
1994
Tags #never managed, #marketing people, #do marketing things, #segments, #focus groups, #segmenting, #dominate industry, #motivated
Transcript
The Boss: "I've never managed marketing people before. But a good manager can manage anything." "So...I order you to go do marketing things...like segmenting and focus groups..." "And keep focusing and segmenting until we dominate the industry!!!" Worker: "Well, I'm motivated."
Friday October 21,
1994
Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer
Transcript
Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?
Thursday June 15,
1995
Tags #lacking clerical support, #highly trained, #paid professionals, #copier, #analytical sklills, #mindless, #toner, #five minutes
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are in the copier room. Dilbert stands behind Wally thinking, "Lacking clerical support, the highly trained, highly paid professionals line up at the copier." Dilbert continues thinking, "Their amazing analytical skills are squandered in this mindless task." Wally says, "No . . . It looks like the 'toner' light doesn't turn off if you wait." Dilbert says, "Let's give it another five minutes."
Thursday August 31,
1995
Tags #dogbert treks tna, #tech writer, #technical writing, #word processing, #highly skilled, #communications professional, #inert thoughts, #staff meeting, #org chart, #secretary meeting
Transcript
Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"