Hire A Rat Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

266 Results for Hire A Rat

View 1 - 10 results for hire a rat comic strips. Discover the best "Hire A Rat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cronies, #dumpsetr, #flies, #hire a rat, #need experience, #proctor and gamble, #technology industry, #vice president

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Mister Ratbert, I don't think I can hire a rat to be our vice president of marketing. You need experience in the technology industry." Ratbert responds, "I spent a week in a dumpster at Procter and Gamble." The man says, "Close enough! Welcome to the team!" Ratbert says, "I'll bring some cronies with me. They're flies."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Rat With An Ear On His Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Introducing The New Hire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #good, #host, #sinister, #paranoia

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #through, #wall, #doctor, #die, #over the wall

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #lab rat, #noise, #escaped, #laboratory, #mac and cheese

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's that noise? Dogbert: It sounds like a rat, escaped from a nearby laboratory, chewing a hole through our front door to avoid sure death from a hideous macaroni-and-cheese-experiement. Dilbert: That's amazing. Dogbert: These babies aren't just for good looks, you know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lab rat, #escape, #laboratory, #embassy, #rat, #special, #treatment

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab rat: Greetings, dog. I've come to live in your house and escape from my job at the laboratory. You could think of me as a political exile seeking sanctuary in a friendly embassy. Dogbert: I could think of you as a rat. Lab rat: Okay, but I don't expect any special treatment.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lab rat, #professor, #indifidual, #respect, #escaped, #laboratory, #individual

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab Rat: I wasn't getting any respect at the lab... I felt used. Sure... The food was good-and lots of it... But I don't think the professor valued me as an individual. And a rat without respect is like... Like... Dogbert: Like you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rat, #plague-carrying, #vermin, #household, #personality, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."