Hired A Genius Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

250 Results for Hired A Genius

View 1 - 10 results for hired a genius comic strips. Discover the best "Hired A Genius" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2005's comic on:

Tags #hired a genius, #faking british accent, #ello bird, #sexy sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"

It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius

Thank you for voting.
It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2016's comic on:

Tags #genius, #intelligence, #misunderstood

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It's hard to be a misunderstood genius. CEO: I have no idea what you're talking about. Wally: See?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #competition (psychology), #tweaks to ideas, #fails, #claim credit, #many forms genius, #steaming an oval

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2012's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #destructive criticism, #dumb, #employees, #team, #hired, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #genius, #iqs, #Dilbert, #network, #enhance, #career, #mensa, #expo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "You joined what?" Dilbert replies, "Mensa. It's a group of people with genius IQs." Dilbert continues, "I'm hoping it will be a good way to network and enhance my career." The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I heard you joined our Mensa group . . . I hope you can make it to the career expo."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #genius, #humility, #Dogbert, #weasel, #compliments, #clever

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says from behind him, "I'm not really a genius." Dilbert asks, "Did you say something?" Dogbert replies, "I'm practicing my false humility." Dilbert asks, "Is this just a way to weasel more compliments out of people?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, I could never be THAT clever."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #patients, #turbocharged, #x-ray, #machine, #waiting, #room, #eyes, #diagnoses, #arrive, #mail, #stroke, #genius, #schedule, #hypochondriacs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."