Hit Window Comic Strips
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Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."
Dogbert sits in the cockpit of an airplane. He says, "Attention, passenger." Dogbert continues, "I'm Captain Dogbert. This is my first flight. I'll bet you wish you hadn't cut the corporate training budget." The passenger, the CEO of the company, looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "For safety, keep an eye out the window . . . If it looks like we're gonna hit the ground, try jumping up right before impact." The passenger looks scared.
dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.
Dogbert says to Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, "I still think it's dumb to elect the only known criminal around as leader of the neighborhood crime watch." Dilbert responds, "Maybe 'Bad Ed' has changed." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert reads the note on the brick and says, "It's from Ed. 'Next meeting: Tuesday at 8:00 P.M.'" Dogbert says, "I can't wait for the newsletter."
Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"
Dilbert walks down the hall and thinks, "Now that I'm CEO, everybody treats me differently." Dilbert thinks, "They interpret and act upon my slightest gesture. This gesture means 'all is well.'" Behind Dilbert there is a scream and a crash. An employee says, "We tossed Mahoney out the window like you gestured, sir." Dilbert thinks, "Oops."
Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "For the timid investor, I recommend our 'Perpetual Certificates of Deposit.'" The man continues, "They earn the highest possible interest. The only trade-off is that you can never withdraw it." Dilbert asks, "Why don't I just fling my money out a window?" The advisor replies, "Ah, you've heard of our 'Flying Debenture' product?"
Dogbert sits across from a man behind a desk. Dogbert says, "I heard you're looking for a hit man to eliminate an inventor named Dilbert." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can deliver his head on a platter." The man asks, "Does it have to be on a platter?" Dogbert replies, "I've tried using those Tupperware lettuce crispers, but it loses a lot of the drama."
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"