Search Results for "holder"
Share June 08, 2011's comic on:
Share January 08, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.
Share May 20, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I didn't approve of you buying Lenin's body to begin with . . ." The body lies across milk crates. Dilbert continues, "And I certainly don't approve of you making a desk out of it." Dilbert asks, "Are you listening to me?" Dogbert says, "Hey, if I flip him over I can use his nostrils as a pencil holder!"
Share December 11, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Creativity Exercise. A man stands in front of a machine and says to a group, "Team One made a device that converts air to electricity." The man stands in front of a different group. He claps and says, "Team Two used their hour to create a missile defense laser." The man approaches Dilbert, The Boss, Alice, and Wally and asks, "Team Three, do you need more time?" The Boss responds, "It's a scissors holder!"
Share July 07, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"
Share March 07, 2011's comic on:
Wally says, "What happened to you?" Dilbert says, "I went to a technology trade show." Dilbert says, "The event was so huge that it made me feel small. But it's just an illusion." Wally says, "For an illusion, you make a great cup holder." Dilbert says, "Dude. Not cool."
Share September 24, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert is in his cubicle. The Boss says, "I'm putting you in charge of getting ISO 14000 certification." Dilbert says, "What's the difference between that and ISO 9000?" The Boss says, "About 6000," and laughs. As The Boss walks off he says, "Hey, I think I'll use that at the stockholder meeting!" Dilbert says, "Yeah, that'll wake them up."
Share January 05, 2004's comic on:
"It looks like an ordinary piece of paper, but I added this finger holder." "Now when I wander the hallways looking busy I can totally rest my hand." "Working hard?" "Not any more!"