A frazzled man says to Dilbert, "Normally I'm all stressed out during the holidays, but not this year." The man continues, "I eliminated my shopping stress by getting everybody the 'Flabmaster Thigh-Toning Support Socks.'" Dilbert replies, "Their commercials sound better the closer you get to Christmas." The man says, "You can build muscle just lying on the couch!"
Dilbert is at his computer. The Boss approaches, hands Dilbert a photograph, and says, "This stockholder is suing us to stop the merger. Go rough her up." Dilbert looks at the photograph and responds, "This assignment disturbs me on many levels." The Boss says, "Name one." Dilbert looks down at the photograph of his mom and says, "It will make the holidays tense." The Boss replies, "Blah, blah, blah."
Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails."
Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself."
Wally: "Are you tired?"
Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."
"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."
Wally: I hate it when people stop working because it's the day before a holiday.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Wally: "It cheapens the lack of work that I cultivate year-round."
Asok: "I saw the funniest video clip!"
Wally: "Tourist!"
Wally: Is it okay if I telecommute on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day? I'll show my kid how I work from home. Boss: How would I know you were working? Wally: What??!! That is exactly the sort of distrust that corrodes the motivation of employees! How can I feel good about my job in this toxic atmosphere? Boss: Okay, okay. You can work from home on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. Dilbert: You don't have a kid. Wally: I hear they ruin your naps.
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions?
Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates.
Carol: So...nothing about your weight?
Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed.
Dogbert: You could visit your mom.
Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?
