Search Results for "homeless on christmas"
Share December 17, 2001's comic on:
Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."
Share December 25, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.
Share April 18, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to dedicate my life to the less fortunate." Dilbert replies, "That's very noble of you, Dogbert. Will you be working with the homeless, or perhaps the hungry?" Dogbert replies, "I thought I'd start with people who didn't buy real estate in the 70's . . . Maybe work my way up to that other stuff."
Share December 22, 1992's comic on:
A frazzled man says to Dilbert, "Normally I'm all stressed out during the holidays, but not this year." The man continues, "I eliminated my shopping stress by getting everybody the 'Flabmaster Thigh-Toning Support Socks.'" Dilbert replies, "Their commercials sound better the closer you get to Christmas." The man says, "You can build muscle just lying on the couch!"
Share December 23, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters holding an envelope and says, "I'm collecting money for a gift to a poor family this Christmas." Dilbert opens his wallet and asks, "What are you buying them?" Wally replies, "A CD player." Dilbert says, "Thank you for making this the most shallow gesture of my life." Wally says, "I'll add your name to the card."
Share December 24, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert looks at a present under the Christmas tree and thinks, "I can't believe he only got ONE gift for me. This is an outrage." Dogbert thinks, "And he already told me it's a hat. A great dog like me, and he buys a hat?" A man at the Humane Society says into a telephone, "There's nothing we can do . . . Unless it has a matching sweater . . ."
Share December 25, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a pillow and Dilbert sits on the floor wearing his bathrobe. There is a present on the floor between them. Dogbert says, "Why should I open it? You already told me it's just a stupid hat." Dilbert replies, "Open it anyway." Dogbert opens the box and takes out a crown. Dogbert says, "Hey, it's not really a hat; it's a crown." Dogbert puts on the crown and says, "I'm not happy. I'm only humoring you." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, little friend."
Share December 20, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's a list of my Christmas demands." Dogbert says, "Follow the instructions and nobody gets hurt." Dilbert says, "You're bluffing. You wouldn't hurt my plastic window Santa." Dogbert holds the electric cord to the decoration and says, "One yank and he's off life support!"
Share December 21, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert hands Ratbert a list and says, "Here's my list of Christmas demands, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Since you have no money I included items which can be easily shoplifted." Ratbert says, "Thanks." Dogbert says, "Or you can check the box where it says you agree to be my personal valet for life." Ratbert replies, "I need to shoplift a pencil first."
Share December 22, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."