How Big Bonus Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How Big Bonus

View 1 - 10 results for how big bonus comic strips. Discover the best "How Big Bonus" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how big bonus, #work on project, #digits

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice tells Dilbert, "Today I'll find out how big my bonus will be." Alice continues, "After all the work I did on that project, I'm thinking four digits, maybe five." Later, Dilbert asks, "How many digits?" Alice replies, "I used one on each hand."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #working model, #test plant design, #how big, #real one, #certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inexplicable, #low cost, #system, #underpowered, #replace, #another vendors, #upgrade fees, #big a fool, #lease option

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "It's inexplicable, but the low-cost system I sold you seems to be woefully under-powered." Dogbert continues, "You could replace it with another vendor's system, thus showing everybody you make a mistake. Or you can pay my outrageous upgrade fees." The Boss asks, "How big a fool do you think I am?" Dogbert replies, "I won't know until I see if you go for the lease option."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dominion, #dolts, #breathing air, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "My dominion over the planet is not widely recognized by the dolts who are breathing my air." Dogbert continues, "So I've declared total sovereignty over a small, ever-widening zone surrounding my body." Dilbert asks, "How big is the zone?" Dogbert says into a megaphone, "You have just entered Dogbertland. Please show your passport and leave the oxygen alone!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authentic baby, #week old, #explain absence, #mickey rooney

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman's hands holds a babay over The Boss's desk. Woman says, "This is an authentic baby, less than one week old." Woman says, "As I feed this authentic baby in fron of you, recall how big my stomach was last week." Woman says, "So, do I still need a note from my doctor to explain my absence?" The Boss says, "Yes, unless you can prove where Mickey Rooney is right now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

That new employee is getting special treatment just because she's hot. It's unfair. "She's hot? Where is her cubicle? Maybe I should bring her some coffee." "Do you mind brewing an extra pot? I don't know how big her mug is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #powerpoint, #technology, #competition, #industry, #one slide, #presentation, #meeting, #investors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to make a PowerPoint deck for my meeting with investors. I'll be telling them everything I know about technology, competition, and the industry. Dilbert: So... just the one slide? Boss: Huh? Dilbert: How big do these fonts go?

Dogbert's Reality Show

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Reality Show - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #television, #reality, #cell phone, #battery, #charging, #Entertainment, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monkeys, #big picture, #motivated, #monkey, #assignment, #eating banana, #imitating monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"