Hows My Walking Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for hows my walking comic strips. Discover the best "Hows My Walking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800

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"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

Dilbert Characters

Human Walking This Way

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Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #exercise, #fish, #health, #human, #social distancing, #walking, #water

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dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogs & puppies, #service monkey, #walking and texting, #guide obstacle

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #hallway, #dignity, #Sports

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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #book, #walking, #dog, #picking up, #Women, #baby, #single male, #overrated

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Dilbert looks in a book and says to Dogbert, "This book says the best time to pick up women is while walking a dog." Dogbert says, "Let's try it." Dilbert holds a leash that is wrapped around Dogbert's stomach. Dogbert walks in front of Dilbert yelling, "Yo! Baby! Whoa whoa! Shake it, don't break it! Come and get your single male!!" Dilbert says, "I think this method is overrated." Dogbert yells, "Form one line! No pushing!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #new, #style, #management, #exhausting, #mbwa, #walking, #around, #walked, #park, #improvement

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "My new style of management is exhausting me." The Boss continues, "I heard some people talking about 'MBWA' or 'Management by Walking Around.'" The Boss continues, "I walked all the way to the park and back. But I can't say that I see much improvement around here."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #treasure hunt, #loot, #thrill of hunt, #seed the carpet, #nickles, #can't find

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Wally is walking with his metal detector. Dilbert leans over his cubicle wall and asks him, "How's the treasure hunt going? Have you found any loot?" Wally responds, "It's not about the 'loot' as you say. We detectors are motivated by the thrill of the hunt." Dilbert says, "I could seed the carpet with nickels." Wally responds, "I tried that but I can't find them."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy haired convict, #bust joint, #walking backward, #little joke, #fresh meat

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Headline: Pointy-haired Convict. The Boss is wearing a prison jumper and says to Wally, "I've got to find a way to bust out of this joint." Wally responds, "Try walking backward." The Boss says, "Well, that didn't work... Oh, I get it: This is a little joke you play on all the fresh meat."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #complaining, #cruel, #mean, #mother, #son, #Family, #Sports

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Dilmom Dilmom says, "How's work, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "I'm doing the job of three people and my pay has been cut 20%" Dilbert says, "My investments are worthless and my odds of finding a suitable mate are nearing zero." Dilbert says, "My life has no meaning, no joy and no hope." Dilbert says, "Do you have any motherly advice?" Dilmom says, "Shake it off, you big wuss." Dilmom says, "And you can pass that wisdom to the grandchildren you won't be having." Dilbert says, "You're not good at this." Dilmom says, "Eat broccoli. Whatever."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slow walking women, #squeeze, #oblivious, #time stands still

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Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."