Human Beings Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

315 Results for Human Beings

View 1 - 10 results for human beings comic strips. Discover the best "Human Beings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1995's comic on:

Tags #add resource, #human beings, #not resources, #most valuable asset

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Alice who is seated at her desk. He asks, "Alice, I've decided to add a resource to your project." Alice screams, "We're human beings, not 'resources!!'" The Boss looks stunned as he replies, "Would it help if I told you that resources are our most valuable asset?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #pants, #twelve-inch, #waist, #inches, #secret, #retail, #success, #merchandise, #shop, #harder, #retail store

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."

Body Doubles Are People Too

Thank you for voting.
Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2016's comic on:

Tags #hit man, #murder, #mistaken identity, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?

Human Intelligence

Thank you for voting.
Human Intelligence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2016's comic on:

Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #humans, #arguing, #human nature, #intelligence, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!

Wally's Device Has Human Emotions

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Device Has Human Emotions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2016's comic on:

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #invention, #human, #humanity, #misanthrope

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.

Dilbert Characters

Phone Better Than Human

Thank you for voting.
Phone Better Than Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2016's comic on:

Tags #technology, #distraction, #human, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alan: Everything went wrong for me this week. I have problems... all kinds of problems. Dilbert: For the zillionth time in a row, my phone is more fun than talking to a human.

Human Walking This Way

Thank you for voting.
Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2020's comic on:

Tags #coronavirus, #exercise, #fish, #health, #human, #social distancing, #walking, #water

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

No Human Contact

Thank you for voting.
No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2020's comic on:

Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2011's comic on:

Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #surgery, #software server, #too confusing, #normal human, #comprehension, #cost eefective, #involve atorneys, #deal so small, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #babies, #complaining, #human resources, #evil director, #discriminates, #short, #bald, #near sighted, #born this way, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My boss discriminates against me because I'm short, bald, and near-sighted. It's not my fault. I was born this way. Woman: And who is this little... whoa! Hello. Catbert: evil director of Human Resources. Literally.