Humane Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

6 Results for Humane

View 1 - 6 results for humane comic strips. Discover the best "Humane" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas presents, #Dogbert, #christmas, #gift, #hat, #humane, #society, #sweater

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert looks at a present under the Christmas tree and thinks, "I can't believe he only got ONE gift for me. This is an outrage." Dogbert thinks, "And he already told me it's a hat. A great dog like me, and he buys a hat?" A man at the Humane Society says into a telephone, "There's nothing we can do . . . Unless it has a matching sweater . . ."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donuts, #contains memo, #fired, #termination notice, #humane, #ate the memo, #Wally, #3 donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss hands around a box of donuts and says, "One of these donuts contains a memo which fires the recipient." The Boss continues, "This seemed like the most humane way to reduce headcount." As they walk out of the conference room, Dilbert says, "How was your donut?" Wally replies, "The first two were great. The third was papery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge risk, #entrepreneur, #denail, #archival, #ceo, #humane, #bonuses

View Transcript

Transcript

In the company cafeteria, Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I'd quit and become and entrepreneur, but I don't know how they handle such huge risks." Wally, his mouth full of food, says, "Denial, probably." Alice walks up with her lunch tray and says, "We got bought by our archrival this morning." Alice sits down and says, "Their CEO says he plans to be as 'humane' as possible." Dilbert says, "He sounds nice." Wally says, 'Maybe we'll get bonuses!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back of neck, #humane, #layoffs, #tranquilizer, #unemployment offcie, #wake up, #shooter, #gun, #knocked out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The layoffs will be handled in the most human way possible. POW! Dilbert: How long does the tranquilizer last? The Boss: he'll wake up at the unemployment office,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.