Humans Irrational Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for Humans Irrational

View 1 - 10 results for humans irrational comic strips. Discover the best "Humans Irrational" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #stress, #humans irrational, #comment, #hater, #hater forver, #taking personal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My stress is way down since I discovered that all humans are irrational. Tina: Clearly that comment is directed at me. Now I hate you forever! Dilbert: Da-dee da-dum.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #power (social sciences), #slaves, #a-b testing, #manipulate humans, #orange button, #mindless puppets, #legality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!

Humans And Parakeets

Thank you for voting.
Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #libertarianism, #taxidermy, #critter, #con humans, #stuffed humans, #breathing humans, #two critter special

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'd like a quote for taxidermy on this critter." Man says, "The law says I can't stuff humans, especially when they're still breathing." Man says, "But I believe in small government, so roll him to the back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #ideas, #meeting, #originality, #irrational thinking, #optoistic, #new prodcuts, #faking optomisim, #fake buy in, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #irrational, #windshield, #Dilbert, #shake, #hammer, #car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #irrational, #love, #doc, #literature, #stupid, #guy-thing, #therapy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #death, #therapist, #sorrow, #bottled, #legally, #inherit, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.