I Quit Comic Strips
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119 Results for I Quit
View 1 - 10 results for i quit comic strips. Discover the best "I Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 20,
2011
Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.
Thursday November 01,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #van, #drove, #away, #review, #job, #description, #adress, #quit, #thief
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home and sees Dogbert sitting on the floor in an empty room. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, where's all of our furniture?!!" Dogbert replies, "Your new cleaning person loaded it into his van and drove away . . . Oh, and he said to tell you he quit." Dilbert says, "I think we need to review your job description as watchdog." Dogbert points to the wall and says, "I got his address." The cleaning person wrote on the wall "Send my check to," followed by his address.
Thursday February 07,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #entrepreneur, #Wally, #Adventure, #challenge, #stops, #paying, #quit
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway holding coffee cups. Wally says, "I'm thinking of quitting and becoming an entrepreneur." Wally continues, "I want to experience life on the edge, full of risk and challenge and adventure!" Dilbert says, "The company stops paying you if you quit." Wally responds, "Oh, then never mind."
Saturday October 16,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #retirement, #quit job, #philanthropy
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why did you quit your job as company president?" Dogbert replies, "I made a fortune on my stock options and retirement payout." Dogbert says, "I'm going to turn my attention to philanthropy." Ratbert asks, "Is that the study of people named Phil?" Dogbert replies, "It's mostly about watching people beg and having buildings named after me."
Tuesday August 08,
1995
Tags #new dress code, #insane, #fridays are casual, #can't wear jeans, #feel good, #already own, #sadistic plot, #make people quit
Transcript
Alice stands in front of Catbert's desk. Alice says, "I don't understand your new dress code policy, Mr. Catbert." Catbert replies, "Maybe you're insane." Catbert continues, "It's simple. Fridays are 'casual.' But you can't wear blue jeans because jeans look good and feel good and you already own several pairs." Alice replies angrily, "It's another sadistic human resources plot to make people quit!!" Catbert answers, "Say hello to unsightly panty lines."
Tuesday March 12,
1996
Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."
Monday April 22,
1996
Tags #catbert hr driector, #new employees, #always quit, #reapply, #old job, #higher salary, #catnip, #rubbing body
Transcript
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Friday August 16,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body
Transcript
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."
Friday November 22,
1996
Tags #new smoking habit, #teeth turned yellow, #social outcast, #going broke, #house burned down, #going to quit, #long term view
Transcript
Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."
Friday January 30,
1998
Tags #quit, #work from home, #human contact, #testing email, #miss humans
Transcript
Dilbert walks into the conference room for a staff meeting. He thinks, "Maybe I should quit and work for myself from home." Dilbert sits down at the table and thinks, "I would miss all the human contact." Dilbert thinks, "Same as now." The Boss walks in and says, "I'm testing my e-mail. Did you get the 'e' I sent?"