Idiots In Accounting Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

136 Results for Idiots In Accounting

View 1 - 10 results for idiots in accounting comic strips. Discover the best "Idiots In Accounting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags filberts expense voucher, idiots in accounting, smart, sadistic, trolls, humanoid characteristics, right answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is seated in front of a demonlike clerk. The clerk yells, "What are you trying to pull?? Do you think we're idiots in accounting?!!" Dilbert responds, "No, I swear, I think you're smart but sadistic trolls with many humanoid characteristics." Dilbert's hands and feet are bound and he is hanging upside down above a pit. He thinks to himself, "Apparently there was no right answer."

View more books now

Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, ted talk, idiots, dumb, career, change, smart, possible, speak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, doctors' offices, medicines, whiny idiots, pill, doctor, exam room, office, treadmill, pass out, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, surprise, accounting, figures, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finance troll, bad time, report, accounting, Dilbert, witch, figures

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags witch, accounting department, Dilbert, chains, man, woman, gender, sex & gender, figures, Number

View Transcript

Transcript

A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bradley, Dilbert, valid, analyst, witch, finances, accounting, budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, accounting, engineer, breathed, air, irreversible, bad, attitude, part, training, bradley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, reflect, create, erasing, accounting, budget, bradley, troll, witch, budget report

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, television, supreme, ruler, earth, idiots, drive, happiness, expectations, chips, king

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."