Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Ignoring Certain People

View 1 - 10 results for ignoring certain people comic strips. Discover the best "Ignoring Certain People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email chain letter, #will die, #curse of dogbert, #certain death, #curse, #turns into dogs

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marginally useful things, #ageeing, #say it a certain way, #tone, #beat up, #ripped shirt, #anger, #repesct, #high strung, #co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."

Tall People Earn More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tall People Earn More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #fairness, #height, #money, #salary, #wages, #Women, #tall people, #short people, #performance reviews, #height accordingly, #female workers

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.

The Problem Is People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #human factor, #human error, #people, #misanthrope, #misanthropic, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

People Are Terrible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.

People Believe Anything

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business, #people, #believe, #anything, #whisper, #campaign, #rival, #management, #dumb, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.