Illusion Of Gravity Comic Strips
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68 Results for Illusion Of Gravity
View 1 - 10 results for illusion of gravity comic strips. Discover the best "Illusion Of Gravity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 07,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #gravity, #illusion, #mental, #restrictions, #smart, #flung, #space, #wheel of fortune
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Sometimes I think gravity is only an illusion." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe other great thinkers realized gravity is mental and were thus freed of its restrictions." Dogbert thinks, "Which could explain why all the smart people have apparently been flung into space." Dilbert enters and says, "It's time for 'Wheel of Fortune.'"
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Wednesday December 31,
1997
Tags #line of probablity, #illusion of gravity, #consciousness
Transcript
The garbage man sits on the ground talking to Ratbert. He syas, "...As your consciousness passes through each universe, you tend to follow a line of probability." Ratbert writes this down in a spiral notebook. He says, "Got it." The garbage man says, "And since it's more probable that matter is near other matter, you have the illusion of gravity as your consciousness moves toward the norm." He waves his arm in the air to demonstrate. The garbage man says, "Did you get all that, Ratbert?" Ratbert says, "Hey, I'm not stupid. Does this Norm guy have a last name?"
Wednesday November 23,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #meetings, #emails, #no one responded, #project timeline, #consensus nor reality, #illusion of progress
Transcript
Dilbert: Once again, none of you responded to my emails this past week. So I put together a project time line that reflects neither consensus nor reality. Wally: Can I have a copy so I can mock it? Dilbert: No, I'm still enjoying the illusion of progress.
Sunday March 18,
2012
Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Thursday April 12,
2012
Tags #consolidating, #marketing, #illusion, #golf, #ceo, #money, #shared services, #Sports, #business
Transcript
Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.
Monday February 18,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #gravity, #formula, #drink, #fly, #famous, #people, #shower, #praise, #admiration, #attention, #pathetic, #bid, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table and yells as a test tube flies out of his hands, "It works!! My anti-gravity formula works!!!" Dilbert continues, "If I drink it, I'll be able to fly! I'll be famous. People will shower me with praise and admiration!!" Dilbert sits on the wall over the television and says to Dogbert, "Notice anything?" Dogbert replies, "A pathetic bid for attention?"
Tuesday February 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #formula, #society, #benefits, #century, #discovery, #anti-gravity
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the wall and says to Dogbert, "My anti-gravity formula is the greatest discovery of this century!!" Dilbert looks down at Dogbert and says, "Just think of the benefits to society!!" Dogbert says, "You mean, after you float away?"
Wednesday February 20,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #cbs, #news, #press, #converence, #announce, #anti-gravity, #discovery, #suntan, #lotion, #science, #report, #interview, #string, #bikini
Transcript
Dilbert floats through the house with a propeller strapped to his back. He says into the phone, "CBS News? Yes, I'd like to call a press conference to announce my anti-gravity discovery . . ." Dilbert says into the telephone, "Science isn't news?! But you did that investigative report on suntan lotion last year . . ." Dilbert says, "No, I don't think I could do the interview in a string bikini."
Thursday February 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #news, #discovered, #anti-gravity, #formula, #newsworthy, #weight, #exercising, #misleading, #unethical, #marketing
Transcript
Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."
Friday February 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #anti-gravity, #formula, #sneeze, #coming, #burritos, #soon
Transcript
Dilbert floats through the house thinking, "Dogbert wasn't even impressed by my anti-gravity formula." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh, I feel a sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert's sneeze propels him through the ceiling. Dogbert stands on a ladder under Dilbert's feet and says, "I guess we won't be going out for burritos anytime soon."