Search Results for "immoral moron"
Share March 30, 2004's comic on:
Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."
Share March 15, 2011's comic on:
Coworker says, "I thought of your idea a year ago and rejected it for being impractical." Dilbert says, "Did you just take credit for my idea and diss it at the same time?" Coworker says, "Thanks for noticing." The Boss says, "He also cleverly implied that you're a moron." Coworker says, "It feels good to be appreciated!"
Share April 09, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.
Share May 24, 2012's comic on:
Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.
Share October 12, 1994's comic on:
"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."
Share March 12, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."
Share December 09, 1996's comic on:
Catbert sits on his desk. Alice says to him, "The mandatory upaid overtime is immoral. It's destroying the quality of my life." Catbert replies, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . . Companies are designed to maximize stockholder value, not employee happiness." Alice says, "Maybe the head of Human Resources should be a human." Catbert replies, "Privately I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys."
Share March 27, 1997's comic on:
Asok and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "When I was your age, we had things called 'promotions' and 'raises.'" Alice continues, "These days you can only get ahead by leaving the company for a year then coming back as a high-level manager." Asok says, "So the theory must be that anyone who would return to this company is . . ." Alice answers, "A moron. Correct."
Share July 18, 1998's comic on:
While The Boss sits in his chair, Myron gripes while holding a memo, "My name is Myron, not Moron!" As he walks away, Myron continues, "Next time that you run spell check, don't automatically take its suggestions." The Boss thinks, "What's 'spell check'?"
Share October 28, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert stands on the conference table. Dogbert holds a pointer. Dogbert says, "Our target market is the gullible moron segment." Dogbert points at a television. Dogbert says, "Our commercials will feature an actor who seems sincere." The actor on the TV says, "I care about the rain forest... and you." A couple sits on the couch and watches TV. The voice from the television says, "I like kittens... and you." The man says, "Wow.. we made it into his top two."