Implemented Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

7 Results for Implemented

View 1 - 7 results for implemented comic strips. Discover the best "Implemented" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1994's comic on:

Tags #employee of month, #offered parking space, #wally takes train, #work hard to win, #doesn't need prize, #laughter, #meeting, #program, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've implemented an 'employee of the month award.'" The Boss explains, "The winner gets to park in a special space right behind the area reserved for managers!" Dilbert says, "That's like saying the very best employee isn't as good as the worst manager." The Boss replies, "No, you're just as good but . . . Uh . . . Less important." Wally says, "Personally, I'm feeling all charged up about this program!" Wally continues, "I'm going to work day and night to increase my chances for better parking!!" Everyone except the Boss laughs. Wally says, "But wait! I ride the train to work!" The Boss thinks, "We're off to a rocky start."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "Ha ha ha! Now that you've implemented our product, you are at our mercy." "We shall raise the price of upgrades and delay promised patches. There is nothing you can do about it. Nothing!" "Wow. You're fast with those scissors." "I scrap."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2012's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #screen savers, #company logo, #corporate rule, #agenda, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2007's comic on:

Tags #family friendly policy, #implemented, #children, #parents, #needs of family, #school, #sick, #rugby game, #denta;appoitments, #responsibility of parent, #surprised, #Family, #education, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I'd like to take advantage of our new family friendly policy." "Three of my kids have bronchitis, two have dental appointments, one is in a school play, and one has a rugby game." "In all likelihood, you will never see me again." The boss: "We didn't think this through."

Dilbert Characters

Using Git

Thank you for voting.
Using Git - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #code, #developer

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm hearing that none of your code has been implemented. why are you so unproductive? dilbert: your new lead developer doesn't know how to use git and he keeps overwriting my patches. the boss: i don't know what any of that means. dilbert: well, thank you for stopping by.

Pragmatist

Thank you for voting.
Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2020's comic on:

Tags #business, #plans, #office workers, #stupid, #pragmatist, #practical, #implement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.