Improved Dating Life Comic Strips
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545 Results for Improved Dating Life
View 1 - 10 results for improved dating life comic strips. Discover the best "Improved Dating Life" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 30,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection
Transcript
Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.
Thursday April 22,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #social, #life, #engineer, #bonanza, #ladies, #field, #video games, #devices, #non-engineer
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Wednesday December 31,
2014
Dilbert Does Online Dating
Tags #dating, #internet dating, #low standards, #online dating, #triple threat, #six feet tall, #hair, #height, #job, #business, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!
Monday January 05,
2015
Dating Is A B Testing
Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science
Transcript
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Wednesday May 11,
2016
Company Policy About Dating
Tags #dating, #relationships, #office romance, #policy, #legal issues, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!
Thursday March 28,
2019
Dating A Unicorn
Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn
Transcript
ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.
Friday October 25,
2019
Work Life Balance
Tags #business, #interviewee, #interview, #employer, #company, #healthy, #work, #life, #balance, #victim
Transcript
boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show
Monday March 16,
2020
Bet My Life On It
Wednesday March 23,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life
Transcript
Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."