In My Own Country Comic Strips
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413 Results for In My Own Country
View 1 - 10 results for in my own country comic strips. Discover the best "In My Own Country" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 16,
2007
Tags #elbonian branch, #in my own country, #see you inperson, #mud, #work long hours, #wear dockers
Transcript
The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday April 26,
2006
Tuesday April 19,
2016
For The Good Of The Country
Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption
Transcript
Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.
Saturday December 03,
2011
Tags #tv news, #financial report, #tv show, #cable news show, #Dogbert, #gold fillings, #remove your own
Transcript
News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,
Saturday December 17,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #suspicion, #new smart ohone, #no truct, #own agenda, #paranoid, #recharge me, #threats from phone
Transcript
Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.
Sunday June 10,
2012
Tags #better job, #goldilocks zone, #managers, #marinate in own stench, #monster, #skills expire, #technology certifictae, #training, #your training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Monday April 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #east, #european country, #abandoned, #comunism, #capitalism
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Did you hear that the tiny east European country of Elbonia has abandoned communism?" Dogbert replies, "Whoa! Big changes ahead." The caption says, "Elbonia: Monday." A pig and a man sit in the mud on a mud farm. The caption says, "Elbonia: Tuesday." The pig wears a sign that says, "My pig," the man wears a sign that says, "My feet."
Wednesday April 04,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #communism, #ex-communism, #elbonia, #capital, #Politics, #backward, #country, #airport
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."
Thursday April 05,
1990
Tags #elbonia, #capital, #mud, #country, #blue, #jeans, #communism, #capitalism, #Dilbert
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"
Saturday June 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #vital, #performance, #stupider, #project, #high visibility, #country, #salute, #janitors' strike
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your new project will be VITAL to the performance of this company!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "The more he talks it up the stupider the project must be." The Boss says, ". . . High visibility, a chance to excel and be noticed!" The Boss continues, "In fact, I stand to salute you for the job you will be doing! You're what makes this country great!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this have anything to do with the janitors' strike?"