Include Schedule Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

137 Results for Include Schedule

View 1 - 10 results for include schedule comic strips. Discover the best "Include Schedule" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #schedule, #future unplanned network outages, #include schedule, #sick days, #volcanic eruptions, #earth quakes, #hurricanes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "As you requested, here is a schedule of all future unplanned network outages." Dilbert continues, "I took the initiative to include a schedule of all future sick days, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes." Dilbert says, "This is the point when you realize how stupid your request was and we have a good laugh." The Boss reads the document and looks shocked. He asks, "Does CNN know about this?"

Dilbert Characters

Cushion In Schedule

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #weekend, #work, #deadline, #due date, #schedule, #input, #critical, #liar, #credibility, #exaggerate

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #suspicion, #schedule meetings, #excuse, #do nothing, #disbelief, #scheduling meetings, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #phone heard, #phone scheduled meeting, #schedule a meeting., #secretaries (office), #digital world, #replaces humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice for next Tuesday at ten. Phone: Done. Boss: Never mind. My phone took care of it. Awkward.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #service, #include, #squeege, #glasses, #shirt, #full service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into "Jiffy Med Center" with a sore arm. The nurse says to Dilbert, "Do you want self service or the full service?" Dilbert answers, "Uh . . . full." Dilbert asks a man with a stethoscope, "What does full service include?" The man answers, "We squeegee your glasses and check under your shirt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #multimedia, #include, #video, #music, #computer, #programs, #morning, #face, #theme, #star wars, #budget, #spreadsheet, #forgot, #survived, #ugly, #science, #collide, #art

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a desk in front of a computer and video camera. Dilbert says, "It's called multimedia, Dogbert. Now I can include video and music with my computer programs." Dilbert continues, "This morning I added my face plus the theme song from 'Star Wars' to my budget spreadsheet." Dilbert continues, "I already forgot how I survived without it." Dogbert replies, "It can get pretty ugly when science and art collide."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #patients, #turbocharged, #x-ray, #machine, #waiting, #room, #eyes, #diagnoses, #arrive, #mail, #stroke, #genius, #schedule, #hypochondriacs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beta prodcut, #fix problems, #logically impossible, #schedule, #manager, #not engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."