Increased Complexity Comic Strips
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31 Results for Increased Complexity
View 1 - 10 results for increased complexity comic strips. Discover the best "Increased Complexity" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 23,
2000
Tags #pay slip, #increased complexity, #won't know, #rip off, #clueless, #in the dark, #happy to be evil, #cheat, #evil catbert
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."
Thursday October 13,
2011
Tags #despair, #meetings, #six variables, #4 imbeciles, #brilliant engineer, #complexity algorithm, #rational deciosn, #brilliant career
Transcript
Dilbert: Okay, this next decision involves six variables, four imbeciles, and one brilliant engineer. According to the Dogbert complexity algorithm, it is impossible to make a rational decision in this situation. All in favor of giving up? Boss: I found out I'm a brilliant engineer.
Wednesday March 04,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #amazingly, #ignorant, #people, #visit, #economics, #fed, #increased, #money, #supply, #interview, #Politics
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."
Thursday January 28,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #the boss, #change, #lowered, #expenses, #increased, #revenues, #financial, #situation, #blinding, #flash, #obvious
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."
Friday August 18,
1995
Tags #increased my visibility, #invisible, #management, #known by all
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I significantly increased by visibility at work today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Yesterday I was invisible to my management. But today I am known by all." Dogbert comments, "You screwed up, huh?" Dilbert responds, "Ooh yeah. Big time."
Friday March 17,
2000
Tags #discover shared vision, #foster enrollment, #compliance, #modify conceptual map, #organizational complexity
Transcript
Wally asks the Boss: "Should I be trying to discover a shared vision that will foster enrollment rather than compliance?" He continues: "Or should I modify my conceptual map to focus on organizational complexity?" The Boss asks: "Is any of that the same as work?" Wally replies: "It pays the same."
Saturday April 14,
2001
Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."
Thursday October 04,
2001
Tags #six sigma consulatant, #increased profits, #industry downturns, #flat growth, #industries, #upturned
Transcript
Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "Every company that used my six sigma program increased profits." Dogbert continues, "...Except for the ones that were in industry downturns..." Dogbert continues, "...Or flat growth industries... Or industries that only upturned a little bit."
Tuesday January 28,
2003
Tags #funding, #continuous harping, #expensive consultant, #analyze budget, #chaos, #complexity, #simulations
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."
Thursday August 02,
2012
Tags #big business, #executives, #profits down, #increased compensation, #incentive, #feel underpaid
Transcript
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.