Search Results for "increased my visibility"
Share August 18, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I significantly increased by visibility at work today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Yesterday I was invisible to my management. But today I am known by all." Dogbert comments, "You screwed up, huh?" Dilbert responds, "Ooh yeah. Big time."
Share June 02, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your new project will be VITAL to the performance of this company!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "The more he talks it up the stupider the project must be." The Boss says, ". . . High visibility, a chance to excel and be noticed!" The Boss continues, "In fact, I stand to salute you for the job you will be doing! You're what makes this country great!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this have anything to do with the janitors' strike?"
Share March 04, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."
Share January 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."
Share August 23, 2000's comic on:
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."
Share October 04, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "Every company that used my six sigma program increased profits." Dogbert continues, "...Except for the ones that were in industry downturns..." Dogbert continues, "...Or flat growth industries... Or industries that only upturned a little bit."
Share January 29, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."
Share January 30, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert and his Visibuddy are both sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Your visibility has been excellent lately. What's your secret?" Dilbert turns and responds, "I created a mindless replica to attend meetings. He has no personality whatsoever." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! You look totally real." The Visibuddy responds, " Hee hee! Burn, dude."
Share August 02, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.
Share October 19, 2007's comic on:
Wally: This week I increased my productivity by improving my morale. "I watched funny youtube videos from morning until dusk." The Boos: "That's all you did?" Wally: "Don't worry. I'm almost halfway done."