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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #india institute of technology, #huge brain, #mental superiority, #re heat tea, #forehead, #fire

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Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #double fees, #management consulting, #outsourcing job, #india, #double fee

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I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disturbing news, #outsourced, #customer service function, #india, #subcontracted, #jobs to mexico, #lowest cost provider, #pay ourselves

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"I have some disturbing news." "We outsourced our customer-service function to India a few years ago." "So?" "Apparently, they subcontracted the job to Mexico." "Then Mexico subcontracted to Vietnam, who subcontracted to the Philippines.." "..Who subcontracted it to us." "It turns out that we're the lowest-cost provider because we lie about our hold times." "In summary, we pay ourselves to hose ourselves." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "We should raise our prices?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #fear, #opinion of plan, #rip off arms, #track down family, #kill family, #india, #Advice, #giving advice

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Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #gays, #laws, #india, #crime, #born gay, #intern, #officially gay, #gay stuff to do

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Dogbert: The Supreme Court of India recently voted to uphold a law making it a crime to be born gay.* To commemorate that hopelessly ignorant decision, Asok the intern is now officially gay. Okay, we're done here. Asok: Good, because I have a lot of gay stuff to do. *essentially

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #gays, #ignorance (knowledge), #india, #supreme court, #nuclear arsenal, #scientific knowledge, #illegal to be gay, #nuke, #taj mahal, #so gay

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Asok: I can never return to India because the Supreme Court made it illegal to be gay there. Does it worry you that they have a nuclear arsenal and the scientific knowledge of inebriated astrologists? Dilbet: They might nuke the Taj Mahal. Asok: I know! That place is so gay, right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business

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Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2005's comic on:


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I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2006's comic on:


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"Asok, I'm outsourcing your job to India." "What?" "I moved here from India to take this job! Now I'll have to go back!" "Tell Sandeep I need some photocopies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2006's comic on:


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"Wally, my job has been outsourced to India." "That's interesting because you came here from India." "Did you already think of that?" "YES!"