Infected Toe Comic Strips

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14 Results for Infected Toe

View 1 - 10 results for infected toe comic strips. Discover the best "Infected Toe" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #telecommuting, #coworkers, #casual inetractions, #infected toe, #photo of toe

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CEO: I canceled all telecommuting because there is so much value in having co-workers interact with each other in the office. Boss: Yes, it makes perfect sense. We want to get all of the value of casual interactions. Coworker: Do you want to see a picture of my infected toe?

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #website design, #computer, #eyes wide, #psychopath, #photo wall, #toe fungus, #despair, #yell, #mouth open, #scared, #pain, #satan, #licking, #brain, #tone down, #hair stand up, #technology

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Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

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Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"My project has been infected by attractive people." "As you know, attractive people are unproductive." "The problem is compounded when you put several of them in the same room." "They've already started to pair off." "I've got four love triangles and six divorces." "All of my status reports say, and I quote, 'Dude, I can't concentrate now.'" "My plan is to replace each attractive person with something like this, or this." "He thinks I'm productive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #secret of success, #plan b, #two hairballs, #business

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Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.

Robot Learns To Procreate

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Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #mind control, #thinking, #life, #creation, #conscience, #sentience, #manipulation

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Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally

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Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #inventions, #scapegoat, #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.

Complaints About Wally

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Complaints About Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity

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the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.