Infinite Fabric Comic Strips
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39 Results for Infinite Fabric
View 1 - 10 results for infinite fabric comic strips. Discover the best "Infinite Fabric" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 31,
2004
Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"
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Wednesday March 07,
2012
Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers
Transcript
Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?
Thursday June 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #quality, #brainwashed, #transformed, #fabric, #corporate, #culture, #Wally
Transcript
Dilbert and the other employees walk around the office as if in a trance, saying, "Quality . . . Quality . . . Quality . . ." The Boss thinks, "It's working. All the employees are brainwashed." The Boss yells, "I've done it! I've transformed the very fabric of the corporate culture!" Dilbert says to Wally, "Things sure have changed around here." Wally replies, "Yeah, for example, my arms are tired."
Monday February 22,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #quickly, #hole, #space, #fabric, #inside, #incredibly, #dangerous
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock watching television. Dilbert yells from another room, "Dogbert! Ratbert! Come quickly, I found a hole in the fabric of space!" Dilbert, Dogbert and Ratbert look at a small hole. Dilbert says, "We must look inside, but it's too incredibly dangerous." Dogbert kicks Ratbert into the hole and Dilbert says, "Thanks." Dogbert replies, "No problem."
Monday February 14,
1994
Tags #desparation, #fabric of spce, #fear, #helpless, #meeting forever, #time division, #marketing guy
Transcript
Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.
Tuesday June 04,
1996
Tags #time, #sequence, #discreet eventsmlime ofperception, #infinite possibilities, #magazine, #moments, #have togather, #less often, #life
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a chair reading and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you see 'time' as a sequence of discrete events or simply a line of perception through infinite possibilities?" Dilbert answers, "I see 'Time' as more of a magazine." Dogbert says, "You know these moments we have together - we really must have them less often." Dilbert says, "Ask me about 'Life.'"
Sunday May 10,
1998
Tags #cubicle walls, #detrsoys fabric, #acoustical absorbtion, #agreemnet, #sarcasm
Transcript
The Boss peaks into a cubicle and thinks, "What the ...?" The Boss walks into Alice's cubicle, points to something on her cubicle wall and says, "Alice, you know we don't allow anything on cubicle walls." The Boss continues, "It destroys the acoustic absorption of the fabric." Alice covers her ears and shrieks, "OUCH!! My easr! Don't shout!" Alice says to The Boss, "You're right! I've ruined the acoustic absorption." Alice reaches to remove the paper on her wall and says, "It seemed so harmless. I'll remove it immediately." Alice and The Boss stare at eachother. The Boss exits the cubicle and says, "Why is it worse when they agree with me?" Alice covers her ears again and says, "What? Eh?"
Tuesday April 27,
1999
Tags #budget numbers, #totally inaccurate, #only numbers, #infinite inaccurate numbers, #encrypt them
Transcript
The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."
Sunday December 13,
1998
Tags #justin, #job interview, #medical research, #hydroelectric dam, #sound of idealism dying, #fabric covered boxes
Transcript
An interviewee sits at the table across from Dilbert. Dilbert asks, "So...Justin, why do you want to work here?" Justin replies, "I want to find a cure for asthma!" Dilbert replies, "We don't do medical research here." Justin says, "Oh." Justin holds out his arms and says, "Then I want to build the biggest hydroelectric dam in the world!" Dilbert says, "We don't do that either." Justin asks, "What do you do?" Dilbert replies, "We sit in fabric-covered boxes." Justin sits there and a snapping noise sounds above his head. It goes, "Shrivel. Crinkle. Ack!" Dilbert says, "That was the sound of your idealism dying." Justin says, "Show me to my box."
Monday October 13,
2003
Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma
Transcript
The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."