Infinite Possibilities Comic Strips

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20 Results for Infinite Possibilities

View 1 - 10 results for infinite possibilities comic strips. Discover the best "Infinite Possibilities" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #sequence, #discreet eventsmlime ofperception, #infinite possibilities, #magazine, #moments, #have togather, #less often, #life

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Dilbert sits in a chair reading and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you see 'time' as a sequence of discrete events or simply a line of perception through infinite possibilities?" Dilbert answers, "I see 'Time' as more of a magazine." Dogbert says, "You know these moments we have together - we really must have them less often." Dilbert says, "Ask me about 'Life.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers

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Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget numbers, #totally inaccurate, #only numbers, #infinite inaccurate numbers, #encrypt them

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The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma

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The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair

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"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flattery, #company, #boss, #flatter, #infinite people, #typewriter, #butter up, #business

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Wally: Our company needs more people like you. Not just more. We need infinite people just like you. Boss: Where is this going? Wally: And if each of you hat a typewriter, wow!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #louvre, #powerpoint slides, #inch taller, #competitive, #petty, #giant turtle, #infinte turtles

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Topper says, "I'm an inch taller than you and my powerpoint slides are in the Louvre." Topper says, "Some say the earth is on the back of a giant turtle. But who do you think is holding the turtle?" Dilbert says, "You?" Topper says, "Wrong! It's turtles all the way down. But who do you think is holding the infinite turtles?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poetry, #poem, #monkey, #animals

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my new poem?" Dogbert replies, "I once read that given infinite time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare." Dilbert asks, "But what about MY poem?" Dogbert replies, "Three monkeys, ten minutes."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #flowers, #invention, #relationship

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Dilbert and Dogbert look at a holograph of a flower bouquet. Dilbert says, "The big advantage of my holographic flower invention is that you get infinite simulated bouquets." Dilbert continues, "You can give it to a girlfriend and program it to change on all special occasions." Dilbert says, "Just think of the money you can save over a relationship." Dogbert asks, "By never having a second date?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staus report, #light, #email, #flame war, #technical surperiority, #simian ancestry, #obligation, #victims of hormones

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."